Why do you want to be a doula?
I want to be a doula for many of the
same reasons that I want to be a midwife. I have had some very good birth
experiences and would like to help other women to have the same. I believe that
women have choices when it comes to giving birth and I would like to help them
learn what their choices are in order that they can make the best ones for
themselves, their babies, and their families.
Birth is a fascinating process to me
physiologically, mentally, and spiritually. Birth, like death, is something
that each of us must experience. However, each of us is only born once and
because of this, each birth should be the best possible experience. I would
like to help women achieve this for their babies.
Other than helping women by being a
doula, it is also, for me, a stepping stone on my pathway to midwifery.
What personal qualities does a doula
possess?
A doula must possess many qualities such
as love, compassion, empathy, knowledge, awareness, physical and emotional
strength, ability to connect, confidence in her role, humility. A doula must
love women, babies, and birth. A doula must have compassion for those with whom
she works including not only the birthing woman but her partner and other
family members. A doula must have empathy, which is to me a deeper, more complete
compassion. A doula must have knowledge not only of the basic process of labor
and birth but of basic anatomy and physiology, how to provide comfort, how to
deal with different groups of people. Part of her knowledge must include the
fact that as much as she has, there is always more to gain.
A doula must be aware not only of those
with whom she works but of her surroundings and the emotional, spiritual, and
physical ebb and flow around her. A
doula must have physical and emotional strength because birth can be a long
process. Physical strength because a
laboring woman may need comfort measures requiring physical strength from the
doula for long periods of time and emotional strength because there may be people
present who would seek to undermine the work of a doula or challenge her very
presence in the birthing room.
A doula must have the ability to
connect. Most importantly, she must connect with the laboring woman. As well,
it would be beneficial if she can connect with the woman’s partner and with
members of the medical team providing care for her. A doula must have
confidence in her role. If she is lacking in this area, she might as well not
be present.
Perhaps most importantly, a doula must
have humility. She must understand that while she is there to help, it is only
the woman giving birth who can do that important work. She must understand that
while she may have great knowledge, she does not know everything. She must know
and understand that her role is that of facilitator, not director of
operations.
What skills and knowledge does she need
to have?
A doula must have some skills and
knowledge. One of the greatest teachers is experience. This experience might
come in the form of personally birthing babies or in helping other women along
the process. As she gains experience, she is better able to help those around
her.
A doula needs to have knowledge of the birth
process including basic anatomy in order to better explain to those with whom
she works what is happening, what can be expected, and, to an extent, why. A
doula should have at least a basic knowledge of both post and antepartum
processes and changes. She needs to know common concerns and how to respond to
them. A doula should have some basic knowledge of breastfeeding in order to
support the woman who chooses do so.
In what ways does she assist a birthing
woman and her family?
A doula assists a birthing woman and her
family in whatever way she can. Mainly, this consists of supporting a family
throughout pregnancy, birth, and beyond.
When a doula meets an expecting mother
and her family (understanding that it is quite possible for a woman to be
completely alone in her journey to motherhood), her job, so to speak, is to
offer support. This support comes in many forms and may include any one or all
of the following (or some that are not mentioned):
*
help
track contractions and help decide when to call the midwife or go to the
hospital
*
help
set up at home or get settled at the hospital
*
work
with a partner to get both comfortable (but mostly mama)
*
provide
cool cloths
*
remind
mama to breathe
*
provide
counter pressure
*
squeeze
mama’s hips
*
help
partner feel confident
*
watch
television with family between contractions
*
take
pictures
*
help
clean up at home or protect the sacred hour at the hospital
*
provide
words, arms, shoulders of encouragement
*
pour
water over mama’s back or belly when in the tub
*
educate
*
provide
massage
*
help
with breastfeeding
*
answer
questions
*
be
aware/sensitive
*
share
in the emotions
What did you need when you became a
mother or went through a major life change? What helped? What didn’t?
When I became a mother, I needed
support. When my son was killed and the rest of us were spread out not only
between hospitals but states as well, I needed support. I needed someone to
listen. I needed someone to answer my honest questions. I needed someone to
tell me that it would be alright. I needed someone to let me cry.
It is helpful when going through a major
life change, and birth and death both are, to have someone to listen to you, to
share your thoughts and feelings. It is certainly helpful to have someone come
and take care of the mundane chores that need to be done but that can seem
overwhelming. Having someone to take care of meals is a huge help. It is
helpful having someone watch older children when there is a birth or to just be
there for the children in other circumstances.
It is not helpful to have people tell
you about their own experiences; the time for that will come later. It is not
helpful to have people help take care of the baby (unless a mother has
disabilities which necessitate this). It is not helpful to have people compare
your situation to theirs. It is not helpful to suggest that life goes on; it
either does (in birth) or it doesn’t (in death) and nothing anyone says is going
to change that.
In light of the questions above, assess
yourself. What do you already have? What do you need to work on? What do you
need to think more about? Do you have personal issues that may interfere with
your practice as a doula?
My goal in
life is to be the best I can at whatever I do. In order to become an excellent doula
and midwife, I feel that I need to do some growing. I have learned a little
about trusting myself; I need to learn more. I have learned a little about
listening; I need to learn more. I have learned a little about service; I need to
learn more. I have learned a little about helping others; I need to learn more.
I have learned a little; I need to learn a LOT more. I do not believe that I
have any personal issues that will interfere with my practice as either a doula
or a midwife; I feel that it is what I was called to do and now I need to do
it.
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