The Six Steps of Healing (birth)

I am thinking of a birth I was present for. In applying the Six Steps of Healing to the experience, it seems obvious that the Steps were followed in part but certainly not entirely. Let’s examine what happened.

Step 0: DO NOTHING
This, from what I heard and observed, did not happen. This birth was an example of what happens when two products of helicopter parents become involved and form a family. The pregnant woman could not make a decision without input from her family and the young man was not able to make a decision without considering what his mother would think. The young man’s mother did not seem to be as bad in the labor room as did the family of the young mother-to-be. The mother of the LM (laboring mama) was especially . . . vocal. Before arriving at the hospital throughout pregnancy, LM was told repeatedly how difficult labor was going to be and her moaning and groaning indicated that she was going to make sure it was (I realize this is not something she likely was thinking—the subconscious was certainly at work and had been given a lot of fuel).	The do nothing should have been begun by the parents of the LM months, if not years, before. When we are conditioned for years about something, it is hard to break away from what we have come to believe. In this case, since LM’s family was there reinforcing those things she had learned, it would have been nice to somehow get them out of the room.
Step 1: GATHER INFORMATION
Information was gathered from medical personnel and family members. The problem with the gathered information is that although it was collected from people the laboring woman trusted, it was not always accurate or even good information. The nurses and doctor gave good, and accurate, information. Family members did not. Sometimes information can be offered but it does not have to be acted upon or even accepted. I got the feeling that the family really kind of had their own ideas and wanted things to progress according to their time-frame, not according to what was best for the LM or what was normal hospital protocol.	Ideally, this LM should have attended childbirth classes and a Meet the Doula night. Possibly a Mama/Baby class as well. She clearly had been overly prepared for how bad things were going to be. Her mother had had two cesarean births and obviously thought that she was an expert.
Step 2: ENGAGE THE ENERGY
There was a lot of energy in that room. Unfortunately, it was all negative. The LM had her parents and sister with her. The father did not have his phone out but the mother and sister did and they were on them constantly. The mother did not really want me to be there helping with anything—that’s why she was there, to take care of her baby. In spite of this, there were times when LM would say, “I need my water,” to which she got no response. “Mom, my water.” “Just a minute,” tapping away on her phone, “I’m almost done.” Once the father of the baby arrived, almost every time he made a comment or did anything, it was met with rolling eyes and/or barely disguised condescending remarks.	If the negative energy could have somehow been harnessed and turned positive, this would have been a really incredible experience. If the focus had been on LM rather than everyone and everything else, it would have been a huge step in the right direction. Emptying the room of excess people would have helped as well. Essential oils and muted lighting could have made a huge difference but were rejected. I wonder if it would be okay to just take action in such a circumstance.
Step 3: NOURISH AND TONIFY
This did not happen.	“Send love to all parts of yourself, especially the ones you are ashamed of.” If love could have been sent out to the father of the baby, it would have changed the whole dynamic of this experience. The only love in that room was of the parents of the baby for the baby.
Step 4: STIMULATE OR SEDATE
Sedation was used in the form of Demerol or Stadol. I don’t remember if she had Pitocin but it seems likely that she did because although she thought that contractions were already unbearable, they were not very regular.	Stimulation in the form of a shower or essential oils or massage could have been really good. The father of the baby actually did massage LMs belly and that was welcome by her.
Step 5A: USE SUPPLEMENTS
No supplements that I know of.	Supplements may have made a difference if they could have been gotten by LMs mother.
Step 5B: USE DRUGS
Drugs were definitely part of the mix. Other than those mentioned above, LM (laboring mama) wanted an epidural. Because she was in the hospital, this was of course very available and she got what she wanted.	Drugs were expected and welcome. While I can see that they would in some cases, it doesn’t seem that they were really necessary this time except that LMs mother said so.
Step 6: BREAK AND ENTER
Although this birth did not end in surgery other than a few stitches to repair a torn perineum, the doctor did, in a manner of speaking, break and enter. There was, if you will, a cone-shaped area where the tension in the room was not as thick; the doctor was in this and it seemed as though his presence created it as he was in the room but not part of the drama.	Quite frankly, in spite of the fact that this baby was born vaginally, which is a good thing, a cesarean birth almost would have been better simply because it would have meant that most of those in attendance would not have been able to be present.

Compared to a birth that I more recently attended, the birth described above was something like a nightmare. The more recent birth was lovely and I feel followed more closely the Six Steps than did the previous one even though the parents had no idea what the Six Steps were.