What is a Doula?

Why do you want to be a doula?

I want to be a doula for many of the same reasons that I want to be a midwife. I have had some very good birth experiences and would like to help other women to have the same. I believe that women have choices when it comes to giving birth and I would like to help them learn what their choices are in order that they can make the best ones for themselves, their babies, and their families.

Birth is a fascinating process to me physiologically, mentally, and spiritually. Birth, like death, is something that each of us must experience. However, each of us is only born once and because of this, each birth should be the best possible experience. I would like to help women achieve this for their babies.

Other than helping women by being a doula, it is also, for me, a stepping stone on my pathway to midwifery.

What personal qualities does a doula possess?

A doula must possess many qualities such as love, compassion, empathy, knowledge, awareness, physical and emotional strength, ability to connect, confidence in her role, humility. A doula must love women, babies, and birth. A doula must have compassion for those with whom she works including not only the birthing woman but her partner and other family members. A doula must have empathy, which is to me a deeper, more complete compassion. A doula must have knowledge not only of the basic process of labor and birth but of basic anatomy and physiology, how to provide comfort, how to deal with different groups of people. Part of her knowledge must include the fact that as much as she has, there is always more to gain.

A doula must be aware not only of those with whom she works but of her surroundings and the emotional, spiritual, and physical ebb and flow around her.  A doula must have physical and emotional strength because birth can be a long process.  Physical strength because a laboring woman may need comfort measures requiring physical strength from the doula for long periods of time and emotional strength because there may be people present who would seek to undermine the work of a doula or challenge her very presence in the birthing room.

A doula must have the ability to connect. Most importantly, she must connect with the laboring woman. As well, it would be beneficial if she can connect with the woman’s partner and with members of the medical team providing care for her. A doula must have confidence in her role. If she is lacking in this area, she might as well not be present.

Perhaps most importantly, a doula must have humility. She must understand that while she is there to help, it is only the woman giving birth who can do that important work. She must understand that while she may have great knowledge, she does not know everything. She must know and understand that her role is that of facilitator, not director of operations.

What skills and knowledge does she need to have?

A doula must have some skills and knowledge. One of the greatest teachers is experience. This experience might come in the form of personally birthing babies or in helping other women along the process. As she gains experience, she is better able to help those around her.

A doula needs to have knowledge of the birth process including basic anatomy in order to better explain to those with whom she works what is happening, what can be expected, and, to an extent, why. A doula should have at least a basic knowledge of both post and antepartum processes and changes. She needs to know common concerns and how to respond to them. A doula should have some basic knowledge of breastfeeding in order to support the woman who chooses do so.

In what ways does she assist a birthing woman and her family?

A doula assists a birthing woman and her family in whatever way she can. Mainly, this consists of supporting a family throughout pregnancy, birth, and beyond.

When a doula meets an expecting mother and her family (understanding that it is quite possible for a woman to be completely alone in her journey to motherhood), her job, so to speak, is to offer support. This support comes in many forms and may include any one or all of the following (or some that are not mentioned):

*        help track contractions and help decide when to call the midwife or go to the hospital

*        help set up at home or get settled at the hospital

*        work with a partner to get both comfortable (but mostly mama)

*        provide cool cloths

*        remind mama to breathe

*        provide counter pressure

*        squeeze mama’s hips

*        help partner feel confident

*        watch television with family between contractions

*        take pictures

*        help clean up at home or protect the sacred hour at the hospital

*        provide words, arms, shoulders of encouragement

*        pour water over mama’s back or belly when in the tub

*        educate

*        provide massage

*        help with breastfeeding

*        answer questions

*        be aware/sensitive

*        share in the emotions

                       

What did you need when you became a mother or went through a major life change? What helped? What didn’t?

When I became a mother, I needed support. When my son was killed and the rest of us were spread out not only between hospitals but states as well, I needed support. I needed someone to listen. I needed someone to answer my honest questions. I needed someone to tell me that it would be alright. I needed someone to let me cry.

It is helpful when going through a major life change, and birth and death both are, to have someone to listen to you, to share your thoughts and feelings. It is certainly helpful to have someone come and take care of the mundane chores that need to be done but that can seem overwhelming. Having someone to take care of meals is a huge help. It is helpful having someone watch older children when there is a birth or to just be there for the children in other circumstances.

It is not helpful to have people tell you about their own experiences; the time for that will come later. It is not helpful to have people help take care of the baby (unless a mother has disabilities which necessitate this). It is not helpful to have people compare your situation to theirs. It is not helpful to suggest that life goes on; it either does (in birth) or it doesn’t (in death) and nothing anyone says is going to change that.

In light of the questions above, assess yourself. What do you already have? What do you need to work on? What do you need to think more about? Do you have personal issues that may interfere with your practice as a doula?

My goal in life is to be the best I can at whatever I do. In order to become an excellent doula and midwife, I feel that I need to do some growing. I have learned a little about trusting myself; I need to learn more. I have learned a little about listening; I need to learn more. I have learned a little about service; I need to learn more. I have learned a little about helping others; I need to learn more. I have learned a little; I need to learn a LOT more. I do not believe that I have any personal issues that will interfere with my practice as either a doula or a midwife; I feel that it is what I was called to do and now I need to do it.

Way of the Birth Arts Doula (Way of the doula)

“You will find honor in being a doula, the woman who serves. You will be handmaiden to the Birthing Goddess, lending your heart and hands to her as she labors at transforming herself into the Mother Goddess. You will carry water, cook, clean and care for her family as well as directly support her in labor. It is woman’s work. Hard physical work, intense emotional and spiritual work, everyday miracle work. Sometimes she will not know she is a Goddess and you will hold up the mirror and tell her to look and share your vision.”

I cannot think of anything that sounds quite like being ‘handmaiden to the Birthing Goddess.’ In spite of the fact that I can see some objecting to the thought of ‘woman’s work,’ it is true. Women only can be the Mother Goddess. Women only can give birth. Although a man might be able to be very sympathetic and be a good birth partner, only a woman can completely empathize with the birthing woman because only a woman can understand what she is experiencing because she has herself experienced it and/or she is capable of following her intuition and is able to feel with the woman transforming . ‘Hard physical work’ indeed. ‘Intense emotional and spiritual work’ for certain. ‘Everyday miracle work’ most definitely.

‘Handmaiden to the Birthing Goddess’ conjures up in my mind images of Druid folklore and Celtic women with long hair flowing; of Shetland shawls, ancient trees and windswept landscapes.

“You will need to feel your own strength and vulnerability as a woman, know the power of surrender to a force greater than yourself. You must know these things in your bones. She will sense it if you do and it will give her strength because you are living proof that it can be done.”

It seems odd to use strength and vulnerability in the same sentence, especially when discussing a woman who very likely will need them at the same time. However, speaking from experience, sometimes when a woman is at her most vulnerable, she is also strongest. Labor and birth truly do involve forces greater than any one human. Opening up to the unknown can be a terribly frightening experience but when a birthing woman is with someone who has walked the walk, who does know the incredible power of surrender, it can ease or even completely negate the fear.

“To learn the truth of birth you will be going to Nature, the mother of all. By observing, interacting with her elemental forces and participating in her cycles with awareness you will be taught all you need to know.”

Learning about and from Nature almost seems counterintuitive to the societal norms we find today. Trust birth. Trust your body. Are you kidding—trust the doctor and medicalized view of birth; anything else is likely to leave you wanting.

In my experience, as we observe and interact with the elemental forces of Nature and participate in her cycles, we are taught everything that we need to know. As we observe and interact with the elemental forces of a laboring woman, a Birth Goddess, and participate in her cycles, we can learn everything we need to know. We will learn what she needs, how she feels, and how best to support her.

“You will need to learn to articulate your truth. The truth of what you believe about birth, of what you sense and feel before you, of who you are as a person. Your decisions and actions arise out of being grounded in your truth.”

After having been married for seventeen years to a man who wanted to mold me into a creation after his own design, I have had in many ways to relearn who I am. In some ways it is unfortunate that most of what I learned from personal experience about birth happened during these years. However, in spite of his meticulous and questionable guidance, I was able to learn truth and I am now able to share that. 

“You will help the woman retrieve from within herself the knowledge of what she needs to do her birth dance. By opening yourself to feel her and attending to her in a loving, focused manner you will perceive and reflect back to her own truth.”

To me, this is almost the epitome of what it means to be a doula or even a midwife. My midwives were able to do this for me; now it is my turn to do this for other women in their transformative birth experiences. Ideally, I believe that the doula should be able to be that mirror into which the laboring woman can look to see the Goddess she is.

“You will be helping the mother provide for herself a nourishing environment so that the natural process can unfold of its own accord. Helping safeguard her sacred birthing space, identifying interferences to the natural process, and facilitating her movement through it are part of your doula work.”

A doula cannot give birth for the woman who is laboring. She can, however, help her provide the ‘nourishing environment’ in order that the ‘natural process can unfold of its own accord.’ In doing this, safeguarding the woman’s sacred birthing space is of utmost importance. I feel that in many cases today, the labor room has become an arena. Too often there are far too many spectators and more cheerleaders than participants.

Often the birthing woman does not recognize interferences to the natural process and therefore is almost powerless to react or respond. A doula can certainly help identify unnecessary intrusions and protect against them.  She can facilitate the birthing woman’s journey through this process by being aware of the process and understanding her own role in it.

The Six Steps of Healing in life

The Six Steps of Healing (use in life)

I believe I have used these in many aspects of my life without realizing that someone had actually written them down.

For using the six steps in life, I would like to discuss how they applied, and still do, regarding the death of my oldest son.

Step 0: DO NOTHING

Doing nothing can be quite easy and yet challenging at the same time. There isn’t much worse than being told that your child is dead. After the initial gut-wrenching, heart-being-ripped-out-of-your-body, feeling like you want to die, reaction, all you want to do is. . . nothing. It is rather easy to lay in bed, especially since you’ve had a broken back and a concussion and can’t really do anything else anyway, and stare into nothing. There are things in your line of sight; there is a window and there are other objects. But you don’t see them. They don’t exist. Nothing exists. Nothing. Your world has come to an abrupt halt.

Sometimes your thoughts wander. Sometimes you wonder how you got to this point. Sometimes you wonder how life can possibly go on without this person who has been such an integral part of your life since the day he was conceived and yet in the next thought you know that as much as you can’t possibly imagine what it will be like, you are going to find out; there is absolutely nothing you can do to alter this fact. There are times when you wonder if this might just be a bad dream and you wonder if you might wake up sometime soon.

People swarm in and out, in and out, like the ebb and flow of the tide. They have words of condolence and you know they mean well but they do not understand how you feel. They do not understand that you wish you could turn your feelings off. They do not understand and while a part of you wishes that they did, a part of you hopes they never do.

Step 1: GATHER INFORMATION

There are many ways in which you might gather information.  One of the ways I found most useful and helpful was to surround myself with my family and to listen to words of wisdom.

Life has to go on. There are seven other children who look to you. They miss their brother as much as you miss your son although in different ways.

There was a chaplain at Sanford Hospital who is an incredible man. I have no idea no if he had ever experienced the death of a child but he had the ability to listen and to direct in a very Christ-like way. It was from him that I learned that I could use this awful pain and become stronger; even when, and if, I wondered how.

There was a grief-councilor at Avera Hospital. He was a very kind man. He also was religious. In spite of the fact that he told me that no one had the right to tell me to ‘get over it,’ I liked him. After this, he asked me what my son would tell me if he were there. I smiled a little and said, ‘Get over it.’ Then I thought, ‘Oh, he told me no one should tell me that.’ But I could hear Daniel say it. ‘Get over it, Mom. Life goes on. I am still here.’  It was from him that I learned how to tell the other children about their brother.

There were people I had never met before from whom I learned what it means to have unconditional love.

There is my friend, Diane, who said to me, ‘This might sound strange, but. . .’ She told me to look back over the days, weeks, and months previous to the accident and see if there were any instances that seemed to be a preparation for what was to come. There were. Mostly small and seemingly insignificant but now huge and life-altering.

There were books. And prayers. And dreams.

Step 2: ENGAGE THE ENERGY

With the information I gathered, and still gather today, energy is engaged. The anesthesiologist who worked on my third son happened to be the nephew of a dear friend of mine from when we’d lived in California. The doctor who worked on my second son, happened to be LDS and opened his home to our family.

The energy was sometimes like a tenuous thread. As knowledge and information were increased, the thread become stronger and more threads were added to the safety net. Even though I still sometimes physically felt like I would split in two, I knew that I wouldn’t.

There were still tears. But there was laughter. There was still pain. But there was faith. There was love. There was a cohesiveness that I never would have imagined possible in the first hours after.

Step 3: NOURISH AND TONIFY

Once all the other children knew that Daniel was physically dead, spiritual healing was able to begin. It was very hard having two children in one hospital, one child in another hospital, three staying with new friends, and one still in another state. Then it was just one child in one hospital and one in another, four with new friends, and one in another state. Then one child in one hospital, five with new friends, and one in another state. That is how it remained until we began leaving to return home one and three at a time. I took turns spending time between the hospital(s) and the home where others were staying. I certainly did not love the circumstances, but I came to look forward to the time I was being able to spend with each child. Even during the time my youngest daughter and second oldest son were not conscious, it was still good to spend time with them.

Step 4: STIMULATE OR SEDATE

During this time, sedation was certainly used and stimulation was sometimes something to be avoided. My youngest daughter and second oldest son were kept in drug-induced comas for a time in order to allow some healing to begin before regaining consciousness. My daughter was not kept this way as long as my son but it took her longer to actually regain consciousness. Once my son was awake, he had to be given sedatives to help him come off the medication he’d been given for pain. Had any one circumstance been different, it is quite likely that I would have involved tinctures and/or essential oils. When we were all home, I did.

Step 5A: USE SUPPLEMENTS

We really didn’t use any supplements other than herbs for tea and essential oils.

Step 5B: USE DRUGS

The idea was to get everyone back to normal. To this end, some drugs were used but they were discarded as soon as possible and we used only herbs and essential oils.

Step 6: BREAK AND ENTER

My second oldest son had severe skull fractures. The neurosurgeon who worked on him showed me pictures of my son and explained what he had done. Because the dura surrounding the brain had been nicked, it was necessary to make sure there were no bone fragments or other foreign objects with the brain. I would certainly consider that to be breaking and entering. Although my next younger son and youngest daughter sustained serious injuries, neither had to have major surgery.

Using the Six Steps as a guide is helpful in many ways. Specifically, it gives a foundation on which to build and even if not specifically thought of at the time, helps give some perspective. I think knowing about them will help give perspective to many things in my life now that I would not have thought of before.

The Six Steps of Healing (birth)

I am thinking of a birth I was present for. In applying the Six Steps of Healing to the experience, it seems obvious that the Steps were followed in part but certainly not entirely. Let’s examine what happened.

Step 0: DO NOTHING
This, from what I heard and observed, did not happen. This birth was an example of what happens when two products of helicopter parents become involved and form a family. The pregnant woman could not make a decision without input from her family and the young man was not able to make a decision without considering what his mother would think. The young man’s mother did not seem to be as bad in the labor room as did the family of the young mother-to-be. The mother of the LM (laboring mama) was especially . . . vocal. Before arriving at the hospital throughout pregnancy, LM was told repeatedly how difficult labor was going to be and her moaning and groaning indicated that she was going to make sure it was (I realize this is not something she likely was thinking—the subconscious was certainly at work and had been given a lot of fuel).	The do nothing should have been begun by the parents of the LM months, if not years, before. When we are conditioned for years about something, it is hard to break away from what we have come to believe. In this case, since LM’s family was there reinforcing those things she had learned, it would have been nice to somehow get them out of the room.
Step 1: GATHER INFORMATION
Information was gathered from medical personnel and family members. The problem with the gathered information is that although it was collected from people the laboring woman trusted, it was not always accurate or even good information. The nurses and doctor gave good, and accurate, information. Family members did not. Sometimes information can be offered but it does not have to be acted upon or even accepted. I got the feeling that the family really kind of had their own ideas and wanted things to progress according to their time-frame, not according to what was best for the LM or what was normal hospital protocol.	Ideally, this LM should have attended childbirth classes and a Meet the Doula night. Possibly a Mama/Baby class as well. She clearly had been overly prepared for how bad things were going to be. Her mother had had two cesarean births and obviously thought that she was an expert.
Step 2: ENGAGE THE ENERGY
There was a lot of energy in that room. Unfortunately, it was all negative. The LM had her parents and sister with her. The father did not have his phone out but the mother and sister did and they were on them constantly. The mother did not really want me to be there helping with anything—that’s why she was there, to take care of her baby. In spite of this, there were times when LM would say, “I need my water,” to which she got no response. “Mom, my water.” “Just a minute,” tapping away on her phone, “I’m almost done.” Once the father of the baby arrived, almost every time he made a comment or did anything, it was met with rolling eyes and/or barely disguised condescending remarks.	If the negative energy could have somehow been harnessed and turned positive, this would have been a really incredible experience. If the focus had been on LM rather than everyone and everything else, it would have been a huge step in the right direction. Emptying the room of excess people would have helped as well. Essential oils and muted lighting could have made a huge difference but were rejected. I wonder if it would be okay to just take action in such a circumstance.
Step 3: NOURISH AND TONIFY
This did not happen.	“Send love to all parts of yourself, especially the ones you are ashamed of.” If love could have been sent out to the father of the baby, it would have changed the whole dynamic of this experience. The only love in that room was of the parents of the baby for the baby.
Step 4: STIMULATE OR SEDATE
Sedation was used in the form of Demerol or Stadol. I don’t remember if she had Pitocin but it seems likely that she did because although she thought that contractions were already unbearable, they were not very regular.	Stimulation in the form of a shower or essential oils or massage could have been really good. The father of the baby actually did massage LMs belly and that was welcome by her.
Step 5A: USE SUPPLEMENTS
No supplements that I know of.	Supplements may have made a difference if they could have been gotten by LMs mother.
Step 5B: USE DRUGS
Drugs were definitely part of the mix. Other than those mentioned above, LM (laboring mama) wanted an epidural. Because she was in the hospital, this was of course very available and she got what she wanted.	Drugs were expected and welcome. While I can see that they would in some cases, it doesn’t seem that they were really necessary this time except that LMs mother said so.
Step 6: BREAK AND ENTER
Although this birth did not end in surgery other than a few stitches to repair a torn perineum, the doctor did, in a manner of speaking, break and enter. There was, if you will, a cone-shaped area where the tension in the room was not as thick; the doctor was in this and it seemed as though his presence created it as he was in the room but not part of the drama.	Quite frankly, in spite of the fact that this baby was born vaginally, which is a good thing, a cesarean birth almost would have been better simply because it would have meant that most of those in attendance would not have been able to be present.

Compared to a birth that I more recently attended, the birth described above was something like a nightmare. The more recent birth was lovely and I feel followed more closely the Six Steps than did the previous one even though the parents had no idea what the Six Steps were.

Death

Have you had an experience with a person or animal dying? Please describe.

                My whole life has been lived around animals. We have had dogs, cats, birds, chickens, goats, turkeys and even a duck once. I have witnessed the birth of dogs, cats, chickens, goats, and turkeys and have assisted a couple of our does with kidding. I have eight children and have witnessed, as a doula, a birth. I have witnessed the death of dogs, cats, chickens, goats, and turkeys. I have had to be the one to put a goat down when dogs got into the goat pen and tore one of our does up so badly that she could not live.

                When I was young, my family lived next to my grandparents. One day was out with my grandma and I knew that we needed to get home because I knew that something monumental had happened at home. When we arrived, I ran to the back of the house and there was my uncle’s dog with her nose in my favorite Japanese silkie hen, Henrietta. I was shocked and horrified at the manner of her death but even at the young age of 8 or 9, I knew that death was somehow very connected to life and that one cannot be without the other.

                Over the years, I’ve become acquainted with death. My father died almost 23 years ago. I was sad when it happened and I still miss him, but somehow, I knew it was going to happen. My grandpa died just over two years ago. I knew that was going to happen as well and I miss him very much.

                The hardest death I have had to deal with is the death of my oldest son just over two years ago (two years and three months tomorrow as of the writing of this on November 1, 2013). He was only 14 and was killed in an automobile accident. The pain and emotions I feel are as fresh and raw today as they were when I found out he was dead. I miss him more than words can say and quite frankly, I do not wish to miss him less. Interestingly, even as I was lying on a cold, hard table in an emergency room in a hospital, I knew that my son was gone. A very close friend asked me later if there was anything to prepare us for Daniel’s death and as I began to examine the events of the days and months preceding the accident, I could see that there were. Even though it was a shock and unexpected, and even though we all miss him terribly, we were prepared.

What made their experience easier? More difficult?

                When Daniel was killed, I think it was easier, in a way, because he was asleep and was not aware of what was happening. It could be, however, that there were things he would have wanted to tell us had he been able to. When my dad died, he fell into a diabetic coma and never woke up. While it was probably easier that way, it probably would have been nice had he had his family around him. My grandpa died twelve days after the accident that took my son’s life.

                We had been travelling to California in order to see my grandparents. It was the first, and likely only, time we would have a complete five generation family gathering for my children. I believe, as does my grandma, that once Papa knew that we would not be coming, he decided it was time for him to go as he’d been ill for some time and was holding out to see us. With him when he died were my grandma, my aunt, and my cousin. Waiting for him was his oldest great-grandson. He was released with love and greeted with love.

                I have heard of people who have held on to life because those around them refuse to let them go. This has to be hard, especially when living is painful.

Do you see any similarities to the birth experience?

                I see death and birth as flip sides of the same coin. Birth is the act of leaving one sphere of existence and entering another and death is the act of leaving one sphere of existence and entering another. With each, there is an element of entering the unknown, of leaving that with which one is familiar.  Because of this, I believe that the experience of death is very similar to the experience of death. Perhaps the only real difference is the avenue or passageway between the two realms.

Beliefs about Birth

Birth is powerful.

Birth is beautiful.

Birth is empowering.

Birth is private.

Birth is light.

Birth is spiritual.

Birth is primal.

Birth is going to the point of no return and then beyond.

Birth is finding out that you can do more than you ever imagined possible.

Birth is taking part in the plan of happiness.

Birth is becoming partners with God.

Birth is dark.

Birth is taking one step into the darkness and then another, and another, and another.

Birth is the embodiment of love.

Birth is an expression of love.

Birth is the result of love.

Birth is transcendent power.

Birth is individual.

Birth is collective.

My list of sentences is somewhat representative of a contraction. It begins small, grows to a crescendo and then wanes small again and, like a contraction, it is not perfectly symmetrical. In this list, I see some opposites including: light and dark; individual and collective; primal and transcendent power. Birth is that way. You can feel powerful and yet helpless at the same time. You can be part of the act of creation while at the same time you might be ripped apart (mostly figuratively but possibly literally).

My beliefs about birth have evolved both as I was having my babies and after as I have learned more. I really wish that I had learned at a much earlier time the things I now know because my birth experiences would have been even better. None of my birth experiences were bad but none of them were entirely my own, either.

When I had my first child, I was young and I had never heard of midwives. My doctor was one of a group practice in which there were three doctors. I liked my doctor alright and the one other one I met I didn’t like at all. As luck would have it, I got the third doctor whom I had never met when I went to the hospital. That turned out quite alright because he ended up being my favorite. The birth was not my own because I was in the foreign world of the hospital. Until the moment I entered in labor, I can remember having been in it twice: once when my dad was diagnosed with diabetes and once for an ultrasound. My mother gave birth to my younger sisters there but I wasn’t allowed to see her then and when she had gall bladder surgery, I saw her through a window but that was my only contact with her while she was there. So, it was foreign to me. I did not know what to expect. Because it was foreign and it was a hospital and in hospitals doctors reign supreme, I do not feel that I really owned the experience. However, I did manage to push my baby out when I had been told I would have to have a cesarean birth. So, in that respect, it was at least partly mine.

When I remarried, my new husband was very controlling and one of his methods was to keep me out of the hospital. Personally, I was okay with that because I figured women had been giving birth for eons out of the hospital so what difference did it make if I wasn’t in one? The birth of my second daughter was, in spite of the fact it was at home, still not something I could own as mine because the husband was there and he was controlling it just as much as he could.

I can begin claiming a bit more of each subsequent birth.  For the birth of my third daughter, we had a wonderful midwife and I think she instinctively knew that all was not well in the relationship between me and my husband. He was still there but wasn’t the driving force behind what I was doing: I was coming into my own and was doing more what I felt was right. I’d done more reading before this birth and was slightly better prepared.

For the birth of my fist son, I was on hands and knees. I hadn’t really done any more reading but I remembered some of the things I had read previously and hands and knees was one of the things I remember. It was nice. It took the pressure off my back and helped open things up so that my largest baby to that point was able to be born with minimal tearing.

The next birth was even better. We had another midwife and I did a lot of reading in a short time. A lot of reading. I learned about visualizing and because I was able to use what I learned, the birth of my fourth daughter was more my own.

My second son was born as we were driving to the midwife. He was in a hurry and I was actively trying not to push. I wanted a water birth and wasn’t going to get one in the van. It was during this experience that I learned what the ‘ring of fire’ really meant and I learned that babies can and are born without the mother actively pushing.

The next birth, that of my third son, was again at home, but before our midwife arrived. For this birth, I felt like I was in effect being my own midwife as well as pushing a baby out. It was not a fun experience and in spite of the fact that all turned out alright, I would not want to do it again.

The birth of my eighth child, my fourth son was more an experience I could call my own. Finally I was getting the water birth I had been dreaming of since I’d read a book about water birth by Dr. Michel Odent. When I was in the water, I was in my own space. I was free. The husband I knew I needed to leave had no control over the situation. I got out of the water when I felt I needed to walk down the street and I got back in the water when I was too uncomfortable out of it. It wasn’t entirely my own but it was more so than any of the others and it was wonderful.

If I had known then what I know now, I would have been able to own these experiences to a much greater degree than I was at the time.  

3 Traditions of Healing

3 Traditions of Healing*

Which one(s) are you most closely aligned with?

I would have to say that most closely align with the Wise Woman tradition. Since I was a little girl, I have been interested in old, traditional ways of doing things. I have long had an interest in all things ancient and spent much of my childhood wishing that I could be an Indian (in my mind, as a member of the Church of Latter-day Saints of Jesus Christ [aka Mormon or LDS], this meant of Lamanitish descent which could be any of the tribes located in North America as well as the Incas, Aztecs, or Mayas). When my grandfather was told he actually did have some Cherokee blood, I was between ten and fourteen years of age and was so excited! I have since learned to accept myself for who and what I am. I have also learned that life is all about learning and that we can learn from any and every one.

Did you find this articulation of thought forms to be helpful? In what ways?

I did find this articulation of thought forms helpful. This is not the first time I have seen either this chart or one very similar to it. In thinking about the three, Scientific, Heroic and Wise Woman, I would never really have thought of myself as falling into a mostly Wise Woman philosophy. I am fascinated by science but while I find it interesting, I do not believe that science has all of the answers or even the capability of finding all of the answers on its own. The Heroic way seems to lean toward religion—it brings to mind many of the Greek and Roman myths I have read as well as some stories from the Bible. To me, it seems that the Wise Woman way is the most natural and the most likely to use or borrow bits from the Scientific or Heroic if the need exists that such would be of benefit.

What ideas stood out for you?

                The main idea that stood out for me is that we live in a toxic world which I believe has come to pass as we, as a society, have come to embrace the Scientific way. Given my personal beliefs, I think that our origins, our first fathers, had a combination of the Wise Woman and Heroic ways. From there, it is easy to see how we, speaking as a society, could have progressed to where we are today. If I had an exclusive belief in evolution, I think that the progression would have begun with the Wise Woman way and then, as religion became important to people, would have progressed to the Heroic way and from there on to the Scientific way.

How might knowing these different philosophies influence your doula practice?

Knowing these different philosophies might influence my doula practice in what I learn and how I impart to others the knowledge that I have gained. While it seems to me that I most closely align with the Wise Woman philosophy, I can see some value in the others as well. It would be good to at least be familiar with them because some of the women I work with might more easily relate to a different philosophy.

Also, women choose to give birth in different settings. I have given birth in a hospital, in my home, in the clinic of a midwife, and in my van on the way to the clinic. In the van was not by choice but the others were. A woman who chooses to give birth at home may have a completely different philosophy than a woman who chooses to give birth in a hospital. In order to be successful, I need to be aware of these differences and be adaptable without either losing sight of who I am and what I believe or pushing my beliefs on the women with whom I work.

1. The Wise Woman Tradition
The Wise Woman tradition, focusing on integration and nourishment, and insisting on attention to uniqueness and holographic interconnectedness, is another choice: a new way that is also the most ancient healing way known. A way that follows a spiral path, a give-away dance of nourishment, change and self-love. "Trust yourself."

2. The Heroic Tradition
Alternative health care practitioners usually think in the Heroic tradition: the way of the savior, a circular path of rules, punishment, and purification. "Trust me."

3. The Scientific Tradition
AMA-approved, legal, covered-by-insurance health care practitioners are trained to think in the Scientific tradition: walking the knife edge of keen intellect, the straight line of analytical thought, measuring and repeating. Excellent for fixing broken things. "Trust my machine."

(Weed, Susun. "Susun Weed's "Three Traditions and Six Steps of Healing," MatriFocus Web Magazine." Susun Weed's "Three Traditions and Six Steps of Healing," MatriFocus Web Magazine. MatriFocus Web Magazine, 2004. Web. 08 Apr. 2014.)