Legal limbo over boy’s burial
Near this bridge, below a sloping lawn that leads to acres of woods, is where Ms. Roper hopes to bury her 14-year-old child.
“Down here would be really nice,” Ms. Roper said quietly, standing under a gray and sunless sky. “Daniel really liked it here. He loved exploring in the woods.”
In the early hours of Aug. 2, Ms. Roper and six of her children were driving along a Minnesota highway, headed to Idaho to visit relatives. Near the South Dakota state line, bleary with exhaustion, she fell asleep at the wheel. The 2000 Dodge Durango veered off the road, sailed through a ditch and slammed into a bridge embankment. Daniel was killed instantly; she and her other children suffered various injuries, but survived.
The townspeople of Hubbardston rallied to the family’s aid, holding bake sales, delivering food and driving the children to doctors’ appointments. For that, the parents are grateful.
But they’re not as thankful to town officials. Today, more than three months after his death, Daniel’s body remains in the basement of a Worcester funeral home. Despite the best efforts of Daniel’s mother and stepfather, officials have yet to grant their request that the boy be buried on their 30-acre property on Pitcherville Road.
“It’s like having a scab that we have to pick open, over and over,” said Flint, Daniel’s stepfather, his voice choked with sobs. “It brings everything back and makes it hard to function. It eats at me. I love my wife, and this is what she wants. I can’t imagine the hell she’s going through.”
Flint has jumped through myriad bureaucratic hoops to grant his wife’s wish. He’s attended two selectmen’s meetings, called and written to various state officials and submitted maps of his property. He’s received the go-ahead from the town Conservation Commission and the state Department of Environmental Protection.
The matter seems to have stalled in September, after the town sought the advice of town counsel. While Hubbardston has no regulation about private burials, its Boston lawyer responded with a two-page opinion citing various chapters of state law and a laundry list of requirements that must be satisfied. Most daunting is that, in his opinion, the burial must be approved at Town Meeting, which isn’t scheduled until next spring.
But Flint isn’t quite sure where the matter stands, and you can’t blame him. Last Thursday, for example, Selectman Michael Stauder initially said he had no knowledge of the family’s private burial request. When contacted again several hours later, he corrected himself and said he now remembered it.
“But we’re not the final approval,” he said.
“Who is?”
“Nobody seems to know that,” he replied. “But I know he needs approval from DEP.”
As noted, Flint already has that. He also has the support of town Conservation Commission member David Klinch, who spoke on Flint’s behalf at a selectmen’s meeting in September.
“The Board of Health effectively punted it to the selectmen,” Klinch said. “So the selectmen should have to sign off. It’s a shame it hasn’t been resolved. I wish I could have done more to help him.”
Ms. Roper, 43, said it’s important to her that Daniel be buried on their land. She and her children moved from Idaho to Pitcherville Road in 2009, after meeting Flint on a website frequented by Mormons. They married in October.
“Birth is a personal thing,” Ms. Roper said. “Death should be, too. I know it’s just Daniel’s mortal remains, but that’s all I have left of him. I want him nearby and so do the children. The human race has been burying people close-by for thousands of years. Why can’t we do that now?”
Home burials are unusual but hardly unique. In Hubbardston alone in recent years, several people have been buried on private land, including former Boston Patriot Ron Burton in 2003. In 1997, town meeting voters allowed a family to create a private cemetery on Prentiss Hill Road, but whether town meeting approval is required in all cases is unclear.
Generally, communities require that the casket be placed inside a concrete grave liner or sealed vault. Daniel was embalmed in South Dakota and returned to Massachusetts Aug. 22. A service was held at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Gardner.
Daniel was an honor roll student and would have entered the eighth grade at Quabbin Regional High School this fall. His remains now lay in a casket at Graham, Putnam and Mahoney Funeral Home.
“I’ve done several home burials, and I’ve never seen a problem like this,” said Peter Stefan, president of the funeral home, who has been frustrated in his efforts to help the family. “The town counsel is just passing the buck, as far as I’m concerned. This shouldn’t be a problem.”
Ms. Roper, whose eight children range in age from 5 to 25, said that Daniel’s burial would be a family project. Her 9-year-old son Cedric wants to build a fence around the grave, and her daughters plan to plant flowers. She said she believes that a home burial will help her family heal.
Ms. Roper said she remembers only parts of the horrific crash. She remembers waking up as her out-of-control SUV skated over the grass. She recalls hearing her son Cedric crying. Her 19-year-old daughter Laura, seated in the front, later told her that she cried, “What did I do? What did I do?” over and over.
“Unfortunately, I’m all too aware of the role I played,” said Ms. Roper, who suffered three compression fractures in her back. “But I can’t go back and change anything. I just have to go on. People say I’m strong. I try to believe it. I try to act like it.”
On Friday, Stauder said he looked further into the family’s wish to bury Daniel at home, and will ask interim Town Manager Brian Bullock to spearhead the process.
“There’s a lot of different boards involved, so many layers of local and state bureaucracy, and no one has shepherded them through the process,” he said. “It seems like most of the pieces are in place. We’ll certainly offer him all the help we can give. He needs a champion.”
Bullock agreed, saying the delay is probably because of the “uniqueness” of the request.
“I’m a little surprised it’s still an issue,” he said. “Everyone grieves for that family and I don’t think anyone has a problem with their request. But it’s probably taken too long.”
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