How Far is Too Far?

Distance is usually thought of as a measure between two points. While this may be true, my experience has taught me that, as with many things in life, distance is relative. Having been born and raised, indeed, having lived most of my life, in the West, I think of distance as a number of miles rather than a length of time. While not always true, the distance between two points often equaled the number of minutes to reach a particular destination. Having met and married a Massachusetts native, who is not inclined to move far away, I now must adjust my thinking. While not always true, the distance between two points here can often be multiplied by two in order to give a good guesstimate as to the time necessary to reach a particular destination.

How far is too far to travel? While we were in New Mexico, we lived 0 miles away from Farmington which is where the nearest hospital and our midwife were. The hospital was of little concern to me but the political climate being what it was, our midwife, Sherri Holley, wasn’t comfortable with us delivering at home due to the distance from the hospital. Home, Sherrie’s office. . .little difference to me as neither was the hospital. 60 miles was not too far under such circumstances.

Previous to finding Sherri, we’d searched for midwives and found two in Albuquerque. We visited one but not the other. Due to the passage of time and lack of reference to it in my journal, I do not recall the reason for meeting with only one. Whatever the reason, the one we did meet with decided not to take us on because we were 120 miles away from her, she wasn’t familiar with Farmington or its hospital/doctors, we were due the day before Christmas and she was planning on visiting family in Vermont during this time and did not have reliable back up. The distance in this case was too far.

For our first birth with Sherri, the 60 miles did not present problem. We were able to drive into her office and it was nine hours later that baby number five made her Christmas entrance into the world. Two years later, those same 60 miles proved to be too far as baby number six was in such a hurry to make his entrance three days before Christmas that he was born on the side of the highway on the way to Sherri’s office. Distance is relative and dependent on the circumstances.

How far is too far? I suspect that if I were a midwife now, I would likely choose a relative distance/time and say that was my limit. However, I would carefully evaluate each prospective client and determine how far was too far. In some cases, within my set limit might be too far while at other times, a point outside my limit might be acceptable. Some factors I would likely take into consideration might be distance to the nearest hospital from the chosen birthplace, how many babies the mother had given birth to and the circumstances of each, and competency of her partner and/or those who might be present.

As I am not yet a midwife, but am a student of midwifery hoping to secure an apprenticeship, I do not feel as bound by distance. I want to learn and am willing to travel to gain knowledge. If I were to put a cap on the distance I am willing to travel, it might depend on time of year. I might be inclined to say three hours even though 3 hours in the middle of a blizzard would not be nearly as far as 3 hours in the middle of June. I might, if I were more familiar with Vermont and New Hampshire, be willing to put a mile distance on how far I would be willing to travel. As it is, I am willing to travel. I have a dependable vehicle that has good fuel economy and is good in the snow. I am not afraid to drive in the snow. How far is too far? That remains to be seen.