Joanna's Birthday, Revisited

It is hard to believe that Joanna is 19-years-old today. Also hard to believe that my third baby is 19-years-old. How the time does fly by!

It was incredibly hot the summer Joanna was born.  Many journal entries attest to this fact so I won’t bore you with them.  I was seeing/being seen by Andrea Dixon who was awesome.  The only problem is that we were in California and in California, midwives must have physician back-up. (What this meant in the case of Liz providing care I do not know. She was an RN who worked at the hospital in Yreka and everyone knew she did homebirths ‘on the side.’

Thursday, August 25, 1994, “Andrea called this afternoon with the wonderful news that her medical back-up decided that she can no longer back Andrea up. This means that legally Andrea cannot even take anyone’s blood pressure. Or be at a birth. This comes as we are 23 days away from our due date.”

“…Then I got mad—angry—that because a doctor ‘chooses’ not to cover Andrea, I cannot ‘choose’ to have my baby at home with any kind of competent practicing medical help. And yet, depending on what state I live in, I could ‘choose’ to have an abortion.”

Sunday, September 18, 1994, “Earlier that day (the 8^th) I’d called one of Andrea’s assistants who would be able to bring equipment and assist with the birth. Less than an hour later (but before Grandma and Papa came) Andrea called and said, ‘Want to make an appointment?’ She finally found a doctor who would back her up—how exciting! So we made an appointment for that Saturday.

“Saturday the 10^th. . . Our appointment with Andrea was at 4:30 but she’d gotten stuck in . . . traffic and was about half an hour late. The baby was fine and Alisha and Sydney got to feel it and all three got to hear the heartbeat.”

Saturday, September 24, 1994: “Then, around 7:30 (Wednesday), contractions started. Sometime around 9 there was some bloody show so I knew there was a baby on the way.”

“I had a feeling that the birth was not all that eminent—that it would probably be the next day before the baby came. I called Andrea and Carolyn and Brenda. Brenda wasn’t home. Andrea wanted me to call back when contractions were 5 minutes apart or between 1 and 1:30.

“I spent most of the morning getting things ready—making the bed, covering pillows, etc.

“After Becky got here and I called Andrea we walked up to Sew Unique and the health food store. About 2 contractions were coming every eight minutes but they were really not much to be concerned about—not very hard.”

After fun and games including supper and a ride on bumpy roads, “I’d decided to try and get some sleep—rest anyway—and was on the bed when I felt a gush. That was at 9:40. Contractions finally sped up a little at that point. . . I got up for a while and the contractions eased up so I went back to the bed.

“When I was there I felt another gush and decided it was time to call Andrea and Carolyn. . . Carolyn got here soon and Andrea was here by around 11. At that point I was 8 cm and 90% effaced so the baby was coming but not any real hurry.

“Contractions started in hard then [5am]—baby was finally tired of waiting.

“. . .everyone got up . . . and we got to work. [At] nearly six . . . it really happened. Started to happen. And then, half an hour later, a little black baby head popped out followed by a little girl baby body.

“It seems like that part took forever but now I know it didn’t. Most of the time I was on my hands and knees. I tried squatting but it still felt too fast so I went back to hands and knees. Then I tried sitting on the edge of the bed but that’s been baby was nearly here. I tried to turn back over but Andrea stopped me because the baby was only a push or two away.

“Joanna Mabel was born at 6:29 am, September 22, 1994. She was seven pounds and 19 ½ inches.

“Andrea laid her on my stomach and covered her up. All I really remember after that is Laura being pretty happy and delivering the placenta. Actually, I remember lots but it’s rather jumbled together.

“Somehow, the relief at having the baby out never measures up to the joy of the reality that this baby is actually here and what a miracle that is. At one point I felt her head before she was out and that was nice but still, nothing compared to seeing that head with black hair all over it and the little perfect body that followed. Somehow, seeing and feeling makes it real.

“They are so wonderful—so close to Heavenly Father, so special.”

I was positively verbose there; I had to edit out a lot. While I was pregnant with Joanna, I had asthma really bad. I am not going to say that I wasn’t allowed to go to a doctor, but it wasn’t encouraged and had I gone, it most likely would have had an adverse effect on a marriage that I now realize was already on the rocks. My mother-in-law gave me an extra inhaler which I used only when absolutely necessary. After receiving an acupressure treatment, I not only was alleviated of all asthma symptoms but allergy as well for the rest of the pregnancy and for quite some time after. During the birth, Andrea used warm olive oil/washcloth compresses on my perineum. That felt sooooo good.

There were a lot of people present for Joanna’s birth. I’d prepared Laura by utilizing Andrea’s library and reading books to her. I’m not sure I was prepared for so many people although, in all honesty, it wasn’t that bad because I was in the bedroom most of the time and there wasn’t really room for many of them to be in there at once. As it was, there was a husband, midwife and her assistant. Also in the house were Brenda, my sister-in-law, Becky, my sister, Sydney, my step-daughter, and Laura. My mom and grandma were still at Knitter’s Retreat. They got home either later that day or the next. Looking back at it now, I sometimes think I would want to limit the number of people but really, the way it turned out it was pretty okay.

September 26, 1994. Four days old.

September 27, 1994. Five days old.

Sometime in October of 1994. Laura loves her little sister.

Ocober 28, 1994 (actually Laura's birthday). Mama Vampire feeding her baby.

I believe this was taken in April or early May, 1995. They were soooo cute.

July 1, 1995. Sydney, Joanna, Alisha and Laura.

July 1, 1995. Such a happy, smiling little bundle of cuteness!

Joseph's Birthday, Revisited

Today Joseph is 7 years old. How the time does fly! I like looking back on these birth stories.

It is likely that there are more journal entries while I was pregnant with Joseph because I have a few months that have gone AWOL. I know it isn’t just that I didn’t write because the last entry before the great silence stops midsentence. However, having just finished writing what I have, I think is suffices.

Friday, August 3, 2006: “Eleven days until this baby is due and I’m just about as ready as I can be. I finished getting all the supplies I should need yesterday and that’s always a good thing to have done. The only think I wonder about is the gloves because on the list it says sterile and all I’ve seen is the boxes. I got one yesterday hoping it will work. Yesterday afternoon I finished getting everything washed, folded and put into bags. Currently, everything is on my cedar chest.”

Sunday, August 20, 2006: “Still no baby yet but Laura was a week late. In talking to Diane yesterday, she said the water (we’d been going to the pool almost every evening) may be keeping things from happening. That makes sense because I’ve been having some fairly good contractions for the last couple of weeks but they always stop when I go to bed. That is rather annoying because I really am ready for this baby to be born.

“Today is the day everything has to be picked up from the fair. I’m not sure who is going to go down but I know that I’m not. I’m not going to church either for a couple of reasons—one, sitting is uncomfortable, standing is uncomfortable, laying down is uncomfortable so church is bound to be uncomfortable as well; two, I don’t feel like listening to anyone’s ‘cute’ comments about the state of pregnancy we’re in. Also, I’d like to contemplate castor oil and milk.”

Finally, on Monday, August 28, 2006, I wrote: “Well, Joseph Eoghan was born Tuesday August 22, at 2:14 am. Alisha said her clock said 2:11 and she’s most likely right because it always takes a minute or two to get things recorded.

“Joseph was 9# 3oz and 20 ½” long. He has dark hair currently and is very cute. Today when he got weighed he was 8# 12 oz.

Last Monday I went in for a prenatal visit as usual even though we were a week late and I said I might call the next morning about castor oil if nothing had happened by then. When I got there and they checked baby’s heart beat, it was really fast. Barb had me drink a big glass of cold water and just sit and relax. I was quite warm when I got there and sometimes that causes fetal heart rates to be high. When she listened again, they were lower but she said she’d come over and check the next day if nothing happened before then.

“I sat down on the bed in the afternoon/evening to finish reading a few chapters of Proverbs. It was very uncomfortable and I said so and moved around and suddenly there was a pop and a gush—my water had finally broken.

“I don’t know what order anything happened in but we called the Scotts, started getting things ready, ate dinner, etc., etc. Laura and Joanna helped quite a bit getting everything ready to go over to the Scotts and getting things ready here. My mom and Becky had gone out to dinner so they didn’t know anything was going on until they got back and there was a sheet in the window instead of the usual curtain.

“[The pool was taken] over to Les Schwab to fill it with air because the bicycle pump was taking too long. Then. . . we started filling it. We had to give the hot water heater a break part-way through but it worked out okay.

“Barb and Kendra got there sometime between 9:30 and 10 and got stuff out and situated. I was having some decent contractions but nothing seemed all that promising. When I got in the water at first, everything slowed down. After a while, Kendra gave me a cohosh tincture and . . . I went for a walk up and down the street. That was productive so I came back in and got in the pool. Things still seemed slow so I went for another walk, this time with my mom, and got back in the pool. Kendra gave me another dose of the tincture at some point and while I was out walking [again], Barb went to lay down in her car (she’d managed to get a cold or something, as I recall).

“I don’t know when things began feeling serious but I’d been visualizing for a while when I finally felt that things were really picking up. At one point, I had one and had to push. Kendra asked if I was ready but there’s no way I could have answered at that point. She later said that had she been a novice midwife, she’d never have believed that I was even in labor until then. When I didn’t answer, she figured it was time to don some gloves and . . . get Barb.

“I was fully dilated and it took by their calculations a whole four minutes to get Baby pushed out. He was a bit harder than the rest—it seemed like I’d never get his head out which was my goal because I knew the rest would be fairly easy. After weighting and measuring, it is no surprise he was harder to push out because he was so much bigger than his older siblings.”

Joseph’s birth was incredible. Looking back now, I know I would have done things the same because none of the circumstances would have been different but I think I would have liked to have done castor oil nearer his due date. He would have been a little smaller and most likely easier to push out. However, he made it out alright. Laboring and birthing in the water was heavenly. I loved it. Joseph probably liked it as well due to our going so often to the pool in the couple of months before he was born. The water felt so nice and toward the end, the only time I was truly comfortable was in the pool. The older children loved it also which was a nice added bonus.

I hadn’t remembered that Joseph’s heart rate was high that last prenatal visit. I think I would like to ask Barb what she would have done had it remained high. I’m pretty sure that partly it was due to my stress. My mom came out in time for the birth on the due date and some people did not like that so life was somewhat more stressful at home (which is saying something because it was way off the scale under normal circumstances at the time).

Cedric told me the other day that he remembered spending lots of time outside with Joseph. He was, like most of his older siblings, jaundiced, so we spent quite a bit of time outside sunbathing when it was a good temperature.

Joseph’s birth was another wonderful learning experience. I am so grateful and feel so blessed to have the children that I do.

This is an amazing picture because it was actually taken the day Joseph was born.
I do not have that for any of my other children.

August 23, 2006. Daniel holding baby Joseph and Amena smiling.

Probably this was taken in September.
Cedric often closed his eyes in pictures at this time so this was a nice one.

I'm guessing around September for this one as well.
This outfit was really cool. The planets were glow in the dark.

This may have been taken as early as August.

Probably taken in September.
Seth was a pretty happy big brother.

February 8, 2007.
Mr. Big Eyes.
This picture has an interesting story if you're brave enough to ask.

Good News!

I've been away for a bit due to life being busy (with things like soccer practice and games, finals, final presentations, and spending up to two hours every day [other than Sunday] getting back in shape). You may recall that I had an interview with Birthwise Midwifery School which was interesting and sort of fun. The interview was going to be in person but Laura and Joanna both had to work so without someone to keep an eye on the younger half, I couldn't go to Maine. Because they're really cool at Birthwise and realize that not everyone could make it in person for the interview, it was then going to be via Skype. We started and I could see and hear them but they could not see me and they were having trouble hearing me as well. Soooo, it ended up being via telephone (thank goodness we still have them, eh?).

When was that? A million years ago? Actually just a month ago on April 16th. Two days later they called and said. . .

I was ACCEPTED!!!!!!

So excited!!!

Interview today . . .

. . . with Birthwise Midwifery School! And, this weekend, toLabor doula training! What excitement!

Interview

I have an interview Tuesday in Bridgton, ME, for Birthwise Midwifery School. Still not sure if I'll be able to physically go but if not, they are willing to Skype. Yay! So exciting!

Daniel's Birthday, revisited

On January 3, 1997, a Friday, I wrote: “The baby is really moving around right now. It must be time for me to go to bed. Two times I can count on lots of movement are in the morning and when I go to bed.”

Tuesday, January 21, 1997: “Tomorrow I’ve got an appointment with Dr. David.” It is interesting to note that Dr. David Wilson was the doctor who delivered Sydney, Dan’s daughter, when Liz Travis, who helped us with Laura’s birth, thought that Lyn, Sydney’s mother, was not progressing sufficiently to warrant a homebirth. He had divorced, moved to Utah, remarried, and moved back to Scott Valley. He and his wife, Renee, who was an RN almost ready to sit for her midwifery exams, attended homebirths.

Two days later, “Tomorrow I guess I ought to begin my before-the-baby-comes projects. The biggest project is diapers.”

Friday, February 6, 1997: “Just before Salem [Oregon] the baby got tired of sitting still and started stretching rather painfully.”

Friday, February 28, 1997: “Our baby’s quilt is almost done—all I need to do is finish sewing on the binding.”

Monday, March 3, 1997: “Well, this is an odd time [3:05 am] to be writing but the baby appears to be on the way. Therefore, I thought it best to write while I have the time and it’s quiet.

“So far, there isn’t much to tell. . . . I [am] up. My mom is up but she’s at her house still. I had a gush of water a little more than an hour ago and dribblings since then. I’ve had only four really good contractions but lots of little ones.” Renee Wilson was hoping Daniel would be born on the 3^rd because it was her birthday. That was not to be.

Tuesday, March 4, 1997: “This morning at 12:20 a little baby boy was born. . . I broke the mold and had a boy. He hasn’t a name yet—we have trouble with the naming.

“Labor was long—he wasn’t in any hurry to get here I guess but once hard labor began he came more quickly. I don’t know how big his head was but it was bigger than any of my other babies. It took two pushes to deliver his head and then I had to push harder to get his shoulders and the rest of his body out.

“He weighed 7# 12 oz and was 20 ½” long. He has dark hair that will probably get lighter because his eyebrows and lashes are light.

“He is a beautiful baby. He nursed like there was no tomorrow this morning. He fell asleep around 3:30 and has been awake long enough to have his diaper changed and his clothes changed but not to eat. I hope he decides he’s hungry soon.”

Three days later: “. . . baby finally has a name. . . Daniel Brent.”

Labor was long. The Wilson’s came and they left. They came again later and had to bring their 2-year-old because their older children all had previous commitments and couldn’t babysit. That wasn’t a problem. I don’t remember if she was put to bed in the girls’ room or in the little hall by the bathroom. Either way, she, like our girls, slept. My mother was there for much of the labor; I don’t remember if Becky was or not.

At one point in time, I was in the bedroom alone, getting through contractions as best as I could. While they weren’t comfortable, they weren’t painful either but I was alone. I could hear everyone in the livingroom talking and I wondered why. Wasn’t I the one doing the work? Weren’t they here to support me? Why were they out there seemingly oblivious to what I was doing? After my previous three births, I was not used to being alone. I’d had someone with me constantly during each of them so this was something completely new. I did not like it.

In spite of the fact that I have been criticized for voicing this, I do not see what the purpose is of letting a woman labor alone. I believe that part of a good midwives strength is the fact that she is with the woman. During a time the woman may not be able to voice concerns, she needs to have someone with her. In a hospital perhaps it is not as critical as it seems that most women who labor and birth in a hospital are connected to monitors which may alert staff to potential problems. At home, there are no mechanical monitors; the monitors are the people—midwives, family, friends—and they should be with her.

I don’t know when it was, but Dr. Wilson came in to do an exam and when he was done he told me that I was not ready to push. Oh yeah? I thought. How do you know I’m not ready to push? I was so ready I could barely contain myself. I am not sure if I actually started pushing on the sly then or not; I wouldn’t be surprised if I did.

Much of my labor was on all fours as it was the most comfortable. Either Dr. Wilson or Renee had to remind me to get my front up more because I was sagging and by being more upright, I would be getting extra help from gravity. I do not remember much from the actual birth; I do believe that I was still on all fours. I do remember hearing that the baby was a boy—how exciting that was! I know that I had some tears because I remember being stitched up. It was such a relief to have a baby out that the stitching didn’t seem like a big deal. I had a boy! 

March 17, 1997 at Shakleford Falls.
Alisha, Laura, me with Daniel, Sydney and Joanna.

March 18, 1997. Joanna giving two-week-old baby Daniel lots of lovin'.

April 2, 1997.

April 8, 1997.
Daniel 5 weeks old.

April 15, 1997.
Daniel 6 weeks old.

May 4, 1997.
Daniel two months old.

March 9, 1997.
Daniel five days old.
(Picture is slightly out of sequence.)

May 18, 1997.

August 5, 1997.
Mr. HappyPants at five months, one day.

Daniel's 16th Birthday Party

Honestly, it wasn't much of a party. It probably never is when the person of honor is physically absent and not able to add his persona to the occasion. Still, we did a pretty good job, I think. 

We had pepperoni pizza, which was Daniel's favorite while he was physically with us. He probably could have eaten a whole one by himself by now. What his favorite is now, I don't know but someday I'll find out.

We had cake, chocolate with chocolate frosting, and ice-cream, chocolate. We even had candles. 

We also sang Happy Birthday. It was pretty weak because I think most of us wanted to cry but we did it.

Last night when I made the cake, I probably could have salted it with my tears. And maybe some snot since our bodies make so much of it when we cry. Gross, you may think, but I swear while I was thinking it I could hear Daniel say, "Yeah, Mom, DO IT!" Maybe you have to know us well enough to understand our humor.

Anyway, this is the cake, with candles (they were, get this, in the FREEZER--go figure):

Here it is lit. We're going to have a forest fire soon, I tell you.

It was a group effort blowing out the blaze. 

And there you have it. I don't know what other families do, but this is one thing we will keep doing.

We love you, Daniel, from long ago in a galaxy far, far away to infinity and beyond.