Daniel's Grave Site

This will be the story of Daniel's grave site. As we do more, more will be added to the story.

On July 4th, I decided it was high time to be doing something. It looked like this at that time:

This is the view from the bottom.

This is the view from the south east corner.

This is actually the monkey bridge which crosses the stream near Daniel's grave site.

 Amena, Cedric, Seth and Laura helped bring slate up from where there was a pile of it near the creek. On July 27, I went down and pulled most of the few weeds that had dared to grow in preparation for the next day when I planned to get it ready for planting.

This is from the bottom again.
Joseph was sort of supervising as we were in the process of putting the slate around the border.

 On the morning of July 28, I went down to work on it. It wasn't all that hot, but it was awfully humid and sweat was dripping from my eyebrows onto my glasses. That was quite interesting. I finished pulling weeds, including some that had stickery little thorns that I wanted my gloves for. Then I pulled away some of the grass and other vegetation that was growing too near the edge. Next I used the hoe to loosen the dirt in order to get out some of the rocks (I don't think it's possible to get them ALL out). I raked the rocks and made a pile of them to put around the outside edge and some around the inside edge to help the slate remain upright. Then it was time to make a trench around the perimeter with the spade.

From the north east corner.
Joseph wanted to know if I was taking pictures of him.
In a manner of speaking, I was.

 Cedric and Amena had made a pile of slate a few days ago. I used up what they had brought up which was enough for almost half. I started at the top and began working down the sides. When I had used up the slate I had, I went up to the house. After lunch, Laura, Seth and Joseph went down with me. Laura and Seth brought up more slate and I was able to finish that. Seth and Joseph put rocks around the outside. While they did that, I dumped two bags of top soil and Laura and I spread it out. Then I dumped out two bags of manure and humus and we spread that out. Last I dumped and we spread out three bags of potting soil. The last thing I did was plant the St. John's Wort in the south east corner. It had begun raining by then and Paul had driven the van down for some reason. Seth and Joseph rode with Paul up to the house while Laura and I gathered tools and empty bags and took the cart and wagon back up to the barn.

This is from the north west corner.
The slate is all in and we have the ground pretty much ready for planting.
Although you cannot see it, there is a St. John's Wort in the south east corner that I dug up from near the top.

On July 30 Joanna needed/wanted to go to Walmart and I had some errands to run so I got more top soil, manure and humus, and potting soil. An echinacea plant as well. The next day, Nick wanted to come over and help do whatever so before lunch he hauled the dirt down. After lunch he went down with me to dump dirt and plant.

In the north east corner I planted the rhododendron Paul gave me for Mother's Day with some help from Nick. Nick planted the echinacea in the north west corner.

The rhododendron.

The echinacea.

From the bottom (east).

The view from near the edge of the field.
Daniel's grave is in the center and you can see the echinacea and rhododendron.
In the background you can see an end of the monkey bridge.

August 2, 2012. The first anniversary of the accident and Daniel's death. Not exactly something to celebrate. However, Daniel was a friend to many and his life, though short, touched many. On this day were added to his grave site double impatiens, a petunia, garden mums, black-eyed Susans, a cannas and sunflowers. The sunflowers were planted as seeds; it being so late in the season, we are hoping they will come up. Nick gave us the impatiens, petunia and cannas.

This is what it looks like as of the 2nd:

The garden mums at the top.
You can see the petunia as well.

The view from the bottom.
The sunflowers were planted along the edge in the upper left.
The cannas is in the center by the black-eyed Susans.



View from the north west corner.
You can see all the dark spots where everything was watered.

Petunia with the impatiens behind.

I was sitting near the top and thought this was just a good picture.

I would like to extend an invitation to anyone who would like to visit Daniel's grave. If you would like to, just email me (pamssoapsetc@hotmail.com) or send me a message via Facebook (pam.roperflint@facebook.com).

Joseph's Birthday

It is likely that there are more journal entries while I was pregnant with Joseph because I have a few months that have gone AWOL. I know it isn’t just that I didn’t write because the last entry before the great silence stops midsentence. However, having just finished writing what I have, I think is suffices.
 
Friday, August 3, 2006: “Eleven days until this baby is due and I’m just about as ready as I can be. I finished getting all the supplies I should need yesterday and that’s always a good thing to have done. The only think I wonder about is the gloves because on the list it says sterile and all I’ve seen is the boxes. I got one yesterday hoping it will work. Yesterday afternoon I finished getting everything washed, folded and put into bags. Currently, everything is on my cedar chest.”

Sunday, August 20, 2006: “Still no baby yet but Laura was a week late. In talking to Diane yesterday, she said the water (we’d been going to the pool almost every evening) may be keeping things from happening. That makes sense because I’ve been having some fairly good contractions for the last couple of weeks but they always stop when I go to bed. That is rather annoying because I really am ready for this baby to be born.

“Today is the day everything has to be picked up from the fair. I’m not sure who is going to go down but I know that I’m not. I’m not going to church either for a couple of reasons—one, sitting is uncomfortable, standing is uncomfortable, laying down is uncomfortable so church is bound to be uncomfortable as well; two, I don’t feel like listening to anyone’s ‘cute’ comments about the state of pregnancy we’re in. Also, I’d like to contemplate castor oil and milk.”

Finally, on Monday, August 28, 2006, I wrote: “Well, Joseph Eoghan was born Tuesday August 22, at 2:14 am. Alisha said her clock said 2:11 and she’s most likely right because it always takes a minute or two to get things recorded.

“Joseph was 9# 3oz and 20 ½” long. He has dark hair currently and is very cute. Today when he got weighed he was 8# 12 oz.

Last Monday I went in for a prenatal visit as usual even though we were a week late and I said I might call the next morning about castor oil if nothing had happened by then. When I got there and they checked baby’s heart beat, it was really fast. Barb had me drink a big glass of cold water and just sit and relax. I was quite warm when I got there and sometimes that causes fetal heart rates to be high. When she listened again, they were lower but she said she’d come over and check the next day if nothing happened before then.

“I sat down on the bed in the afternoon/evening to finish reading a few chapters of Proverbs. It was very uncomfortable and I said so and moved around and suddenly there was a pop and a gush—my water had finally broken.

“I don’t know what order anything happened in but we called the Scotts, started getting things ready, ate dinner, etc., etc. Laura and Joanna helped quite a bit getting everything ready to go over to the Scotts and getting things ready here. My mom and Becky had gone out to dinner so they didn’t know anything was going on until they got back and there was a sheet in the window instead of the usual curtain.

“[The pool was taken] over to Les Schwab to fill it with air because the bicycle pump was taking too long. Then. . . we started filling it. We had to give the hot water heater a break part-way through but it worked out okay.

“Barb and Kendra got there sometime between 9:30 and 10 and got stuff out and situated. I was having some decent contractions but nothing seemed all that promising. When I got in the water at first, everything slowed down. After a while, Kendra gave me a cohosh tincture and . . . I went for a walk up and down the street. That was productive so I came back in and got in the pool. Things still seemed slow so I went for another walk, this time with my mom, and got back in the pool. Kendra gave me another dose of the tincture at some point and while I was out walking [again], Barb went to lay down in her car (she’d managed to get a cold or something, as I recall).

“I don’t know when things began feeling serious but I’d been visualizing for a while when I finally felt that things were really picking up. At one point, I had one and had to push. Kendra asked if I was ready but there’s no way I could have answered at that point. She later said that had she been a novice midwife, she’d never have believed that I was even in labor until then. When I didn’t answer, she figured it was time to don some gloves and . . . get Barb.

“I was fully dilated and it took by their calculations a whole four minutes to get Baby pushed out. He was a bit harder than the rest—it seemed like I’d never get his head out which was my goal because I knew the rest would be fairly easy. After weighting and measuring, it is no surprise he was harder to push out because he was so much bigger than his older siblings.”

Joseph’s birth was incredible. Looking back now, I know I would have done things the same because none of the circumstances would have been different but I think I would have liked to have done castor oil nearer his due date. He would have been a little smaller and most likely easier to push out. However, he made it out alright. Laboring and birthing in the water was heavenly. I loved it. Joseph probably liked it as well due to our going so often to the pool in the couple of months before he was born. The water felt so nice and toward the end, the only time I was truly comfortable was in the pool. The older children loved it also which was a nice added bonus.

I hadn’t remembered that Joseph’s heart rate was high that last prenatal visit. I think I would like to ask Barb what she would have done had it remained high. I’m pretty sure that partly it was due to my stress. My mom came out in time for the birth on the due date and some people did not like that so life was somewhat more stressful at home (which is saying something because it was way off the scale under normal circumstances at the time).

Cedric told me the other day that he remembered spending lots of time outside with Joseph. He was, like most of his older siblings, jaundiced, so we spent quite a bit of time outside sunbathing when it was a good temperature.

Joseph’s birth was another wonderful learning experience. I am so grateful and feel so blessed to have the children that I do.

This is an amazing picture because it was actually taken the day Joseph was born.
I do not have that for any of my other children.

August 23, 2006. Daniel holding baby Joseph and Amena smiling.

Probably this was taken in September.
Cedric often closed his eyes in pictures at this time so this was a nice one.

I'm guessing around September for this one as well.
This outfit was really cool. The planets were glow in the dark.

This may have been taken as early as August.

Probably taken in September.
Seth was a pretty happy big brother.

February 8, 2007.
Mr. Big Eyes.
This picture has an interesting story if you're brave enough to ask.

Seth's Birthday

Monday, June 2, 2003, I wrote: “Friday before last I ate some smokies that didn’t agree with me and so Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday I had diarrhea. Since then I have to be very careful what I eat because so many things don’t agree with me.

“Also, we are in the process of adding to our family again so I need to be careful to get what I need.”

August 24, 2003 (Becky’s birthday): “[We] visited with the midwife in Bonners Ferry and the one in Sandpoint. They both seem very experienced and knowledgeable. We both like the one in Sandpoint better although I like the office in Bonners Ferry more. We haven’t decided which one to go to yet—moving has kind of taken precedence over everything.”

I’m not sure why I wrote that we both liked the midwife in Sandpoint better. I liked both of them equally well. We decided to go with Denise in Sandpoint because Dan liked her better and I liked them both. It was kind of silly because Sandpoint is farther away than Bonners Ferry, after all, we were living in Bonners Ferry at the time. I could have walked to my appointments had we gone with Barb.

On Thursday, January 29, 2004, I wrote: “Our new arrival finally made is entrance into the world two days ago. Seth Michael was born at 7:05 pm, Tuesday, January 27, 2004. He was 7# 14oz and 19 inches. He’s probably close to that now.

“He’s the fastest birth we’ve ever had. My visiting teachers came over at 2:00 Tuesday and all I would have said then is that I was having some decent Braxton Hicks but nothing more. By 3:30, I figured that maybe this was the day and I called Denise at 4:00 because I’d lost my mucous plug.
I finished the story on Tuesday, February 3, 2004: “Laura, Joanna, Daniel and Amena came home from Lori’s about 4:30 and I told them we were having a baby. I put the plastic shower curtain on the bed and made it like normal with blankets because even then I didn’t feel like we’d be having the baby that day—that I might be able to get some rest that night.

“. . . @ 5. . . I didn’t want to go to our temple recommend interviews at church at 6:30 because it would be just my luck that my water would break while we were there.

“I don’t know when they did break, but it was sometime between 5 and 6:30. . . .the blankets and extra sheets [hadn’t been taken] off the bed until just before and I still had all my clothes on—I was procrastinating because I just didn’t feel like moving. Once I gushed all over the bed, [I changed and] just knelt on the bed because sitting wasn’t much fun. That must have been 6:30ish and contractions were getting really hard. I had another gush in here sometime.

“At 6:40, . . . Denise [was called and told] if she hadn’t left, she needed to right NOW. I was making plenty of noise by then. Joanna brought me juice between contractions until I scared the children all away. . . [a chair was brought in for me to lean on] and from 6:40+ I stayed there.

“I wanted to push but didn’t feel like I should yet. [After looking in a mirror] I didn’t think I looked like I was ready to push either. . .[but] tried pushing without pushing. I’d felt the crowning and then . . . ‘it’s a head covered with black hair!’ Then he said that the cord was around the baby’s neck.

“In such a state, not being able to think, I tried to decide if I should try to get the baby out as quickly as possible or try to wait. Well, nature took its course and during the next contraction, I did the push without pushing thing again and out popped baby.

“. . .when the baby was out, [the cord was] undone. I leaned back on the pillows then and . . . baby—another boy!—[was put] on my stomach. He was bluish except his red face and we got him covered up with a towel. Dan started rubbing him and stuck his finger in his mouth before he made a noise and then it was just one cry.

“I rubbed while [Denise was called] and baby started to pink up and make more noise as we rubbed. By the time Denise and Jolene arrived, all the children were out again and baby was looking pretty good except his hands were still pale. His feet may have been also but I didn’t really notice. He’d also started rooting around a bit by then.

“Dan wanted to name him Seth. Joanna is the only person who objected—I think she just didn’t like it. No middle name was forthcoming though. Then while I was in the bathroom getting cleaned up (the placenta having been delivered and my having been checked for rips and tears (of which I do not recall there were any)) Dan said that he was holding Seth and the name Michael popped into his head.

"Seth is in the bedroom now beginning to make noise and I am feeling like he could stand to be hungry.”

Sherri had quite a library in New Mexico that I availed myself of while pregnant with Cedric. I knew a lot more for his birth than I had for any of my previous births. I had done even more reading during this pregnancy. It was something to feel the crowning and finally understand why it is called ‘the ring of fire.’ Once I understood the importance of this, I knew better what to expect. This was good knowledge to have.

I think it is safe to say that I felt more prepared for Seth’s actual birth than I had for the rest. I think that, in general, it was a good birth although looking back at it, it was somewhat scary as well even though I didn’t have enough presence of mind to think so until much later. The cord wrapped around his neck could have been life-threatening; we were blessed that Seth was born with no lasting physical or mental issues.

As you will see in one of the pictures, Cedric used to like to climb into the cradle with Seth. I think that Cedric missed being the baby to a degree and that he loved his little brother. I’m not sure if being the seventh child is a curse or a blessing (it most likely depends on the circumstances), but for certain Seth was a much loved baby brother.

One funny story I almost forgot. I don’t know if I knew how many Mormon clients Denise had had but I do know that Jolene had had no experience. Midwives usually come for at least one home visit. This serves to show them where you live so they know where to go and the general layout of your house. Also, they are able to get a feel for family life. Denise and Jolene came for their home visit in December. We had our Christmas tree up and when they walked in, Jolene said, “Oh, I didn’t know you celebrated Christmas!”

February 28, 2004.
Seth 3 weeks.

February 20, 2004.
Amena holding her newest baby brother.

February 24, 2004.
Seth four weeks.

March 1, 2004.
Daniel holding Seth.

March 3, 2004.
Seth five weeks.

This was sometime in the spring.
The whole gang (well, almost): Daniel, Joanna, Cedric, Seth, Laura and Amena.

Seth late March, 2004.

Summer 2004.
Cedric and Seth.
This is the one I mentioned above.

Obama Loves Unions

When Obama stopped in at Master Lock in Milwaukee, Wisconsin last week, he was walking the plant and stopped to talk with a plant employee and looked up at the banner hanging on the wall and said to the worker and people around him, "It is great to be in a union shop, especially one as old as this union is" -- pointing to the banner. He then said, "A Union shop since 1848" -- and then he went on to talk on what that banner stood for and how important it was to display it and show your union support.

The worker then said to Obama that it was the flag of the State of Wisconsin -- which was admitted as a State in 1848.

 

I would be so embarassed.

Cedric's Birthday

Life was very stressful between the time Amena was born and the time Cedric was born. After a fairly brief journal entry on March 17, 2001, in which I mention a visit from Daniel Vaniman, I did not write again until August 2 and then only three lines; after that not for another month on September 2. That was a bad month. Then we experienced 9/11. Life across the country mirrored my personal life: STRESS.

Thus, it isn’t until September 12, that I mention anything about a new baby on the way. “The baby seems to be doing fine.”

Marie was going to get married. Finally they set a date and were married Wednesday, October 3. I’d wanted to go but things didn’t work out. We were planning on moving to Idaho though, and since we’d only be about twelve to fourteen hours from Portland, I thought surely we’d be able to visit, “Certainly before this baby comes.”

Sydney left New Mexico to live with her aunt and we dropped Alisha off at the airport in Albuquerque on our way to California for Richard’s funeral as he passed away on November 2. Life was crazy.

On Sunday, December 30, 2001, I wrote: “Last Saturday we had a very interesting experience. I started having contractions about 5am but had no breaking of the water so didn’t worry about it. At 6, I took my usual morning dose of Uterine Toner and contractions kept happening but nothing else. It seemed to me around 9 they began to slow down so close to 10 I took my usual second dose of Uterine Toner.

“Family and McKelvey’s are here so I’ll be back later.”

Finishing the story on January 6, 2002, I wrote: “. . .back to the 22^nd of December. After that second dose of Uterine Toner, contractions were regular and hard. I called Sherri and Sandy who agreed to watch Laura, Joanna, Daniel and Amena. I kept doing things—making beds, getting a suitcase ready, fixing lunch, etc.—until I knew we needed to go NOW. I had a feeling we’d probably waited too long and thought briefly about calling Sherri back to say I wasn’t going anywhere but I really wanted that water birth.

“[We] called Sandy to tell her we might take some of the others but then contractions were really strong ad I said, ‘we’ve got to go NOW. Can she come pick them up?’ She said okay, we went out and Brother McDaniel and his wife arrived with some hay for Freckles.

“We left and I [said] to drive fast but not on the dirt road. [We went] faster on that than I’d’ve liked but plenty fast on the highway.

“Contractions were really hard and very serious. [We] pulled over once to see if I wanted to get in the back which I didn’t so [we] continued. Then I made a loud noise, groan, and [said] if I did it again to pull over. I could feel something bulging between my legs—it was the water bag. [We] pulled over [and I got] in the middle seat and then drove on.

“I’d felt the burning sensation that is associated with the head crowning just before moving back and knew that we’d never make it to town. When we stopped next we were about 8 miles beyond DZ (north) and that’s where we were going to have a baby. I felt something come out. I asked. . . ‘what was that?’ [It was the head.] Next push and out came baby. [I managed to get him under my jumper] and we covered him with two blankets after checking to be sure he was indeed a ‘him.’

“. . .Sherri was waiting for us when we got to her office and got us looked at and in bed.

“Baby’s name is Cedric Jacob.

“Cedric and I are both doing well. He is currently asleep on the couch. He was 7# 4 oz when born (same weight as Laura) and 19 3/4” long. He has dark brown hair and is, of course, terribly cute.

What an experience that was! I need to rest just thinking about it.

Life was incredibly difficult during the time I was pregnant with Cedric. Dan had decided the previous February that he didn’t want to be married to me any longer. He gave me permission to take some of the children, I don’t remember which ones, and leave. He would keep the others. Well, this didn’t set well with me. I’d have been perfectly happy to go but for one thing, if I was, I was going to have all the children with me and I really thought that our marriage was salvageable. Somehow we got through that.

In August, when I was five months pregnant, “Dan took Joanna, Daniel and Amena to pick Laura up from the George’s. To make a long story short, he’d decided he’d had enough and was planning on not coming back. He didn’t until late the next day and that was the worst hell I have ever lived through—much worse than what happened in February.”

It was also around this time that Alicia Chapman told me that someone had told her that I was planning on doing something that could potential hurt her family. She’d heard it from a ‘reliable’ source but refused to tell me who it was. Well, for one thing, I hadn’t said exactly what she had heard I did. For another thing, the only person I had mentioned anything remotely like what she’d heard was to Dan. Who was her source? Dan. I was so angry. I’d heard that extreme emotions have an effect on an unborn child and now I knew it to be true. My baby was affected by my anger and did not move for a full 24 hours.

On a happier note, I had used visualizing during Amena’s birth. I used it during Cedric’s as well, but it didn’t work. I’d been visualizing getting to Sherri’s office and giving birth in the water. Obviously, that didn’t work out. Interestingly, and this is something I just only realized, had we stayed home, the chances of having a water birth would have been greater as we had a garden tub in the master bath. It certainly would have been large enough for laboring in, perhaps giving birth as well.

Cedric was a happy baby and when he was just a few months old, we finally were able to leave New Mexico and move to Idaho.

This picture was taken in late March of 2003 at about the place where Cedric was born. He was born in this van.

This and the next were both taken in January of 2002.
For some reason (probably because they were taken before we moved and developed after) they never got dated more specifically.

This was taken in early March of 2003 while we were still in Escrito.

This was taken in March or April of 2003 at Grandma Davis' house in Fort Jones.

 This was taken in the spring of 2002 after our arrival in Idaho.

 


This is in the summer of 2003 with Blackie.

He loved to snuggle up with Cedric.

 

Also taken in the summer of 2003.

And this is us in the spring of 2002 at Mt. Hall.

Amena's Birthday

I was so not excited to be pregnant again. In many ways, I had hoped that Daniel might be the last one. I generally didn’t mind being pregnant but things were not good at home and there were no midwives near us. We moved from Bloomfield to Escrito near the beginning of the pregnancy which I hoped would be a good move. We did find and visit a midwife in Albuquerque but she wasn’t comfortable with our distance from her AND she was from Vermont or New Hampshire or Maine and would be gone for a week or two visiting family right when we were due. It didn’t help that I didn’t really try to find anyone until well after five months into the pregnancy; having had four babies already, I foolishly believed that I knew enough to know if something felt wrong. Nothing did go wrong during the pregnancy but had I it to live over, I would have done things differently.

On October 25, 1999, I wrote: “Now we are about 8 ½ weeks from baby’s due date. I feel very fat. I’d like for this baby to be here so that I can get back to normal but I’m really not sure about the added stress of having a new baby to care for. Life has been so stressful lately I wonder if it will ever regain any semblance of normalcy.”

December 5, 1999, seventeen days before she was due: “I found a midwife in Farmington. She just moved from Alaska a couple months ago. At first I thought she was really strange but the longer I was there, the more she sounded okay. . . She favors water births and has a Jacuzzi. Getting to use a Jacuzzi might be worth going to town to have this baby.”

On Christmas morning at 2:31, I wrote: “About 12:15 this morning my water broke and contractions started about half an hour later. They’re the real thing but very inconsistent and currently far apart. I think if I were to get up and move around things might kick in. I don’t want to yet though because for some reason I want to have the baby in town and we can’t get to town until we can get gas. That won’t happen until the 44 Store opens—if it does, being Christmas.

“I probably am about ready to get up and get something done. If we do go to town, I need to finish getting things ready to go. Since I finally have everything washed, I was going to do that this afternoon. That’s what I get for putting it off.”

Two days later: “On Christmas morning, after the initial few contractions, nothing happened other than a few Braxton Hicks during the morning. Sherri called and we decided to go into town around 1.”

Once at Sherri’s, “I took some castor oil with orange juice and baking soda to get contractions going again and was sent to bed to get some rest.

“Over the next couple of hours, contractions started, diarrhea started, snow started, and Sherri came and gave me some herbs to help contractions mean business. Between 5 and 9:30, I got up and walked around when I felt like it and sat on the futon trying to visualize my way through contractions (just a note—visualization makes an incredible difference).

“Around 10, I think, Sherri had me go to the bed for an examination which revealed that I was at 9 cm and just about ready to push. With the next contraction—which was the worst because I was closer to laying on my back than I had been—I decided I wanted more pillows but not to move.”

“Amena Bronwen was born at 11:08 pm on Christmas Day weighing 6 pounds, 13 ounces and measuring 20 inches long. As usual, having a baby is such an indescribable thing. It’s hard work—sometimes I just wanted to stop and give up—but so worth it once the baby is born.”

I did not write much in my journal about being pregnant. Had I to do this all over again, I would have been actively looking for someone to see for prenatal care. Even a doctor until I could find a midwife maybe. Had I been looking, I might have found Sherri sooner than I did. She attended births even before she had her office or even a house for her family to live in so that wouldn’t have been a huge problem. In the few weeks that we knew her, I learned more about birth I think than I had with all four previous pregnancies.

During our first meeting, she asked me what I would like to do. I answered that I would like to continue care with her as if we’d been going to her the whole time. That is pretty much how it happened and it was good. I really liked Sherri and I think that if it weren’t for the influence of certain others, we might still be friends today.

Amena’s name came from one of the books of baby names that Sherri had. The deal with naming babies was that Dan would name the boys and I would name the girls. I did indeed choose Laura’s first name, but not her second. I did indeed choose Joanna’s first name, but not her second. This time, I was going to choose both names and they were going to be names I liked. Amena is a Celtic name meaning ‘heather on the hills’ and Bronwen (which I wish I’d have spelled Bronwyn) is Welsh for ‘fair and white’. Very fitting.

This was taken sometime in January.

January 1, 2000.
Amena was one week old and still had her 'bonnet.'
This picture was taken by Rhonda, one of the nurses in GPU.

Isn't she cute? This was taken sometime in the fall of 2000.

Daniel's Birthday

On January 3, 1997, a Friday, I wrote: “The baby is really moving around right now. It must be time for me to go to bed. Two times I can count on lots of movement are in the morning and when I go to bed.”

Tuesday, January 21, 1997: “Tomorrow I’ve got an appointment with Dr. David.” It is interesting to note that Dr. David Wilson was the doctor who delivered Sydney, Dan’s daughter, when Liz Travis, who helped us with Laura’s birth, thought that Lyn, Sydney’s mother, was not progressing sufficiently to warrant a homebirth. He had divorced, moved to Utah, remarried, and moved back to Scott Valley. He and his wife, Renee, who was an RN almost ready to sit for her midwifery exams, attended homebirths.

Two days later, “Tomorrow I guess I ought to begin my before-the-baby-comes projects. The biggest project is diapers.”

Friday, February 6, 1997: “Just before Salem [Oregon] the baby got tired of sitting still and started stretching rather painfully.”

Friday, February 28, 1997: “Our baby’s quilt is almost done—all I need to do is finish sewing on the binding.”

Monday, March 3, 1997: “Well, this is an odd time [3:05 am] to be writing but the baby appears to be on the way. Therefore, I thought it best to write while I have the time and it’s quiet.

“So far, there isn’t much to tell. . . . I [am] up. My mom is up but she’s at her house still. I had a gush of water a little more than an hour ago and dribblings since then. I’ve had only four really good contractions but lots of little ones.” Renee Wilson was hoping Daniel would be born on the 3^rd because it was her birthday. That was not to be.

Tuesday, March 4, 1997: “This morning at 12:20 a little baby boy was born. . . I broke the mold and had a boy. He hasn’t a name yet—we have trouble with the naming.

“Labor was long—he wasn’t in any hurry to get here I guess but once hard labor began he came more quickly. I don’t know how big his head was but it was bigger than any of my other babies. It took two pushes to deliver his head and then I had to push harder to get his shoulders and the rest of his body out.

“He weighed 7# 12 oz and was 20 ½” long. He has dark hair that will probably get lighter because his eyebrows and lashes are light.

“He is a beautiful baby. He nursed like there was no tomorrow this morning. He fell asleep around 3:30 and has been awake long enough to have his diaper changed and his clothes changed but not to eat. I hope he decides he’s hungry soon.”

Three days later: “. . . baby finally has a name. . . Daniel Brent.”

Labor was long. The Wilson’s came and they left. They came again later and had to bring their 2-year-old because their older children all had previous commitments and couldn’t babysit. That wasn’t a problem. I don’t remember if she was put to bed in the girls’ room or in the little hall by the bathroom. Either way, she, like our girls, slept. My mother was there for much of the labor; I don’t remember if Becky was or not.

At one point in time, I was in the bedroom alone, getting through contractions as best as I could. While they weren’t comfortable, they weren’t painful either but I was alone. I could hear everyone in the livingroom talking and I wondered why. Wasn’t I the one doing the work? Weren’t they here to support me? Why were they out there seemingly oblivious to what I was doing? After my previous three births, I was not used to being alone. I’d had someone with me constantly during each of them so this was something completely new. I did not like it.

In spite of the fact that I have been criticized for voicing this, I do not see what the purpose is of letting a woman labor alone. I believe that part of a good midwives strength is the fact that she is with the woman. During a time the woman may not be able to voice concerns, she needs to have someone with her. In a hospital perhaps it is not as critical as it seems that most women who labor and birth in a hospital are connected to monitors which may alert staff to potential problems. At home, there are no mechanical monitors; the monitors are the people—midwives, family, friends—and they should be with her.

I don’t know when it was, but Dr. Wilson came in to do an exam and when he was done he told me that I was not ready to push. Oh yeah? I thought. How do you know I’m not ready to push? I was so ready I could barely contain myself. I am not sure if I actually started pushing on the sly then or not; I wouldn’t be surprised if I did.

Much of my labor was on all fours as it was the most comfortable. Either Dr. Wilson or Renee had to remind me to get my front up more because I was sagging and by being more upright, I would be getting extra help from gravity. I do not remember much from the actual birth; I do believe that I was still on all fours. I do remember hearing that the baby was a boy—how exciting that was! I know that I had some tears because I remember being stitched up. It was such a relief to have a baby out that the stitching didn’t seem like a big deal. I had a boy!

March 17, 1997 at Shakleford Falls.
Alisha, Laura, me with Daniel, Sydney and Joanna.

March 18, 1997. Joanna giving two-week-old baby Daniel lots of lovin'.

April 2, 1997.

April 8, 1997.
Daniel 5 weeks old.

April 15, 1997.
Daniel 6 weeks old.

May 4, 1997.
Daniel two months old.

March 9, 1997.
Daniel five days old.
(Picture is slightly out of sequence.)

May 18, 1997.

August 5, 1997.
Mr. HappyPants at five months, one day.