3 Traditions of Healing

3 Traditions of Healing*

Which one(s) are you most closely aligned with?

I would have to say that most closely align with the Wise Woman tradition. Since I was a little girl, I have been interested in old, traditional ways of doing things. I have long had an interest in all things ancient and spent much of my childhood wishing that I could be an Indian (in my mind, as a member of the Church of Latter-day Saints of Jesus Christ [aka Mormon or LDS], this meant of Lamanitish descent which could be any of the tribes located in North America as well as the Incas, Aztecs, or Mayas). When my grandfather was told he actually did have some Cherokee blood, I was between ten and fourteen years of age and was so excited! I have since learned to accept myself for who and what I am. I have also learned that life is all about learning and that we can learn from any and every one.

Did you find this articulation of thought forms to be helpful? In what ways?

I did find this articulation of thought forms helpful. This is not the first time I have seen either this chart or one very similar to it. In thinking about the three, Scientific, Heroic and Wise Woman, I would never really have thought of myself as falling into a mostly Wise Woman philosophy. I am fascinated by science but while I find it interesting, I do not believe that science has all of the answers or even the capability of finding all of the answers on its own. The Heroic way seems to lean toward religion—it brings to mind many of the Greek and Roman myths I have read as well as some stories from the Bible. To me, it seems that the Wise Woman way is the most natural and the most likely to use or borrow bits from the Scientific or Heroic if the need exists that such would be of benefit.

What ideas stood out for you?

                The main idea that stood out for me is that we live in a toxic world which I believe has come to pass as we, as a society, have come to embrace the Scientific way. Given my personal beliefs, I think that our origins, our first fathers, had a combination of the Wise Woman and Heroic ways. From there, it is easy to see how we, speaking as a society, could have progressed to where we are today. If I had an exclusive belief in evolution, I think that the progression would have begun with the Wise Woman way and then, as religion became important to people, would have progressed to the Heroic way and from there on to the Scientific way.

How might knowing these different philosophies influence your doula practice?

Knowing these different philosophies might influence my doula practice in what I learn and how I impart to others the knowledge that I have gained. While it seems to me that I most closely align with the Wise Woman philosophy, I can see some value in the others as well. It would be good to at least be familiar with them because some of the women I work with might more easily relate to a different philosophy.

Also, women choose to give birth in different settings. I have given birth in a hospital, in my home, in the clinic of a midwife, and in my van on the way to the clinic. In the van was not by choice but the others were. A woman who chooses to give birth at home may have a completely different philosophy than a woman who chooses to give birth in a hospital. In order to be successful, I need to be aware of these differences and be adaptable without either losing sight of who I am and what I believe or pushing my beliefs on the women with whom I work.

1. The Wise Woman Tradition
The Wise Woman tradition, focusing on integration and nourishment, and insisting on attention to uniqueness and holographic interconnectedness, is another choice: a new way that is also the most ancient healing way known. A way that follows a spiral path, a give-away dance of nourishment, change and self-love. "Trust yourself."

2. The Heroic Tradition
Alternative health care practitioners usually think in the Heroic tradition: the way of the savior, a circular path of rules, punishment, and purification. "Trust me."

3. The Scientific Tradition
AMA-approved, legal, covered-by-insurance health care practitioners are trained to think in the Scientific tradition: walking the knife edge of keen intellect, the straight line of analytical thought, measuring and repeating. Excellent for fixing broken things. "Trust my machine."

(Weed, Susun. "Susun Weed's "Three Traditions and Six Steps of Healing," MatriFocus Web Magazine." Susun Weed's "Three Traditions and Six Steps of Healing," MatriFocus Web Magazine. MatriFocus Web Magazine, 2004. Web. 08 Apr. 2014.)

Daniel's Birthday

It is hard to believe that it has been seventeen years since this boy made his entrance into this world. It is hard to believe everything that has taken place since that day at the Oro Fino dairy ranch. A little more than a year later we were moving to New Mexico. Just more than five years later we were moving to Idaho. Just more than twelve years later we were moving to Massachusetts. Fourteen years, five months and two days later we had to say goodbye. Still, most of those 5,266 days were good ones and I'm glad that we had them.

Looking back, Daniel's labor was much like those of his siblings: very indicative of his personality. Labor was long, but not hard. Once begun, it never stalled, just was consistently slow. I could always count on Daniel getting done what needed to be. 

On January 3, 1997, a Friday, I wrote: “The baby is really moving around right now. It must be time for me to go to bed. Two times I can count on lots of movement are in the morning and when I go to bed.”

Tuesday, January 21, 1997: “Tomorrow I’ve got an appointment with Dr. David.” It is interesting to note that Dr. David Wilson was the doctor who delivered Sydney, Dan’s daughter, when Liz Travis, who helped us with Laura’s birth, thought that Lyn, Sydney’s mother, was not progressing sufficiently to warrant a homebirth. He had divorced, moved to Utah, remarried, and moved back to Scott Valley. He and his wife, Renee, who was an RN almost ready to sit for her midwifery exams, attended homebirths.

Two days later, “Tomorrow I guess I ought to begin my before-the-baby-comes projects. The biggest project is diapers.”

Friday, February 6, 1997: “Just before Salem [Oregon] the baby got tired of sitting still and started stretching rather painfully.”

Friday, February 28, 1997: “Our baby’s quilt is almost done—all I need to do is finish sewing on the binding.”

Monday, March 3, 1997: “Well, this is an odd time [3:05 am] to be writing but the baby appears to be on the way. Therefore, I thought it best to write while I have the time and it’s quiet.

“So far, there isn’t much to tell. . . . I [am] up. My mom is up but she’s at her house still. I had a gush of water a little more than an hour ago and dribblings since then. I’ve had only four really good contractions but lots of little ones.” Renee Wilson was hoping Daniel would be born on the 3^rd because it was her birthday. That was not to be.

Tuesday, March 4, 1997: “This morning at 12:20 a little baby boy was born. . . I broke the mold and had a boy. He hasn’t a name yet—we have trouble with the naming.

“Labor was long—he wasn’t in any hurry to get here I guess but once hard labor began he came more quickly. I don’t know how big his head was but it was bigger than any of my other babies. It took two pushes to deliver his head and then I had to push harder to get his shoulders and the rest of his body out.

“He weighed 7# 12 oz and was 20 ½” long. He has dark hair that will probably get lighter because his eyebrows and lashes are light.

“He is a beautiful baby. He nursed like there was no tomorrow this morning. He fell asleep around 3:30 and has been awake long enough to have his diaper changed and his clothes changed but not to eat. I hope he decides he’s hungry soon.”

Three days later: “. . . baby finally has a name. . . Daniel Brent.”

Labor was long. The Wilson’s came and they left. They came again later and had to bring their 2-year-old because their older children all had previous commitments and couldn’t babysit. That wasn’t a problem. I don’t remember if she was put to bed in the girls’ room or in the little hall by the bathroom. Either way, she, like our girls, slept. My mother was there for much of the labor; I don’t remember if Becky was or not.

At one point in time, I was in the bedroom alone, getting through contractions as best as I could. While they weren’t comfortable, they weren’t painful either but I was alone. I could hear everyone in the livingroom talking and I wondered why. Wasn’t I the one doing the work? Weren’t they here to support me? Why were they out there seemingly oblivious to what I was doing? After my previous three births, I was not used to being alone. I’d had someone with me constantly during each of them so this was something completely new. I did not like it.

In spite of the fact that I have been criticized for voicing this, I do not see what the purpose is of letting a woman labor alone. I believe that part of a good midwife's strength is the fact that she is with the woman. During a time the woman may not be able to voice concerns, she needs to have someone with her. In a hospital perhaps it is not as critical as it seems that most women who labor and birth in a hospital are connected to monitors which may alert staff to potential problems. At home, there are no mechanical monitors; the monitors are the people—midwives, family, friends—and they should be with her.

I don’t know when it was, but Dr. Wilson came in to do an exam and when he was done he told me that I was not ready to push. Oh yeah? I thought. How do you know I’m not ready to push? I was so ready I could barely contain myself. I am not sure if I actually started pushing on the sly then or not; I wouldn’t be surprised if I did.

Much of my labor was on all fours as it was the most comfortable. Either Dr. Wilson or Renee had to remind me to get my front up more because I was sagging and by being more upright, I would be getting extra help from gravity. I do not remember much from the actual birth; I do believe that I was still on all fours. I do remember hearing that the baby was a boy—how exciting that was! I know that I had some tears because I remember being stitched up. It was such a relief to have a baby out that the stitching didn’t seem like a big deal. I had a boy! 

March 17, 1997 at Shakleford Falls.
Alisha, Laura, me with Daniel, Sydney and Joanna.

March 18, 1997. Joanna giving two-week-old baby Daniel lots of lovin'.

April 2, 1997.

April 8, 1997.
Daniel 5 weeks old.

April 15, 1997.
Daniel 6 weeks old.

May 4, 1997.
Daniel two months old.

March 9, 1997.
Daniel five days old.
(Picture is slightly out of sequence.)

May 18, 1997.

August 5, 1997.
Mr. HappyPants at five months, one day.

Seth's Birthday, Revisited

Monday, June 2, 2003, I wrote: “Friday before last I ate some smokies that didn’t agree with me and so Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday I had diarrhea. Since then I have to be very careful what I eat because so many things don’t agree with me.

“Also, we are in the process of adding to our family again so I need to be careful to get what I need.”

August 24, 2003 (Becky’s birthday): “[We] visited with the midwife in Bonners Ferry and the one in Sandpoint. They both seem very experienced and knowledgeable. We both like the one in Sandpoint better although I like the office in Bonners Ferry more. We haven’t decided which one to go to yet—moving has kind of taken precedence over everything.”

I’m not sure why I wrote that we both liked the midwife in Sandpoint better. I liked both of them equally well. We decided to go with Denise in Sandpoint because Dan liked her better and I liked them both. It was kind of silly because Sandpoint is farther away than Bonners Ferry, after all, we were living in Bonners Ferry at the time. I could have walked to my appointments had we gone with Barb.

On Thursday, January 29, 2004, I wrote: “Our new arrival finally made is entrance into the world two days ago. Seth Michael was born at 7:05 pm, Tuesday, January 27, 2004. He was 7# 14oz and 19 inches. He’s probably close to that now.

“He’s the fastest birth we’ve ever had. My visiting teachers came over at 2:00 Tuesday and all I would have said then is that I was having some decent Braxton Hicks but nothing more. By 3:30, I figured that maybe this was the day and I called Denise at 4:00 because I’d lost my mucous plug.
I finished the story on Tuesday, February 3, 2004: “Laura, Joanna, Daniel and Amena came home from Lori’s about 4:30 and I told them we were having a baby. I put the plastic shower curtain on the bed and made it like normal with blankets because even then I didn’t feel like we’d be having the baby that day—that I might be able to get some rest that night.

“. . . @ 5. . . I didn’t want to go to our temple recommend interviews at church at 6:30 because it would be just my luck that my water would break while we were there.

“I don’t know when they did break, but it was sometime between 5 and 6:30. . . .the blankets and extra sheets [hadn’t been taken] off the bed until just before and I still had all my clothes on—I was procrastinating because I just didn’t feel like moving. Once I gushed all over the bed, [I changed and] just knelt on the bed because sitting wasn’t much fun. That must have been 6:30ish and contractions were getting really hard. I had another gush in here sometime.

“At 6:40, . . . Denise [was called and told] if she hadn’t left, she needed to right NOW. I was making plenty of noise by then. Joanna brought me juice between contractions until I scared the children all away. . . [a chair was brought in for me to lean on] and from 6:40+ I stayed there.

“I wanted to push but didn’t feel like I should yet. [After looking in a mirror] I didn’t think I looked like I was ready to push either. . .[but] tried pushing without pushing. I’d felt the crowning and then . . . ‘it’s a head covered with black hair!’ Then he said that the cord was around the baby’s neck.

“In such a state, not being able to think, I tried to decide if I should try to get the baby out as quickly as possible or try to wait. Well, nature took its course and during the next contraction, I did the push without pushing thing again and out popped baby.

“. . .when the baby was out, [the cord was] undone. I leaned back on the pillows then and . . . baby—another boy!—[was put] on my stomach. He was bluish except his red face and we got him covered up with a towel. Dan started rubbing him and stuck his finger in his mouth before he made a noise and then it was just one cry.

“I rubbed while [Denise was called] and baby started to pink up and make more noise as we rubbed. By the time Denise and Jolene arrived, all the children were out again and baby was looking pretty good except his hands were still pale. His feet may have been also but I didn’t really notice. He’d also started rooting around a bit by then.

“Dan wanted to name him Seth. Joanna is the only person who objected—I think she just didn’t like it. No middle name was forthcoming though. Then while I was in the bathroom getting cleaned up (the placenta having been delivered and my having been checked for rips and tears (of which I do not recall there were any)) Dan said that he was holding Seth and the name Michael popped into his head.

"Seth is in the bedroom now beginning to make noise and I am feeling like he could stand to be hungry.”

Sherri had quite a library in New Mexico that I availed myself of while pregnant with Cedric. I knew a lot more for his birth than I had for any of my previous births. I had done even more reading during this pregnancy. It was something to feel the crowning and finally understand why it is called ‘the ring of fire.’ Once I understood the importance of this, I knew better what to expect. This was good knowledge to have.

I think it is safe to say that I felt more prepared for Seth’s actual birth than I had for the rest. I think that, in general, it was a good birth although looking back at it, it was somewhat scary as well even though I didn’t have enough presence of mind to think so until much later. The cord wrapped around his neck could have been life-threatening; we were blessed that Seth was born with no lasting physical or mental issues.

As you will see in one of the pictures, Cedric used to like to climb into the cradle with Seth. I think that Cedric missed being the baby to a degree and that he loved his little brother. I’m not sure if being the seventh child is a curse or a blessing (it most likely depends on the circumstances), but for certain Seth was a much loved baby brother.

One funny story I almost forgot. I don’t know if I knew how many Mormon clients Denise had had but I do know that Jolene had had no experience. Midwives usually come for at least one home visit. This serves to show them where you live so they know where to go and the general layout of your house. Also, they are able to get a feel for family life. Denise and Jolene came for their home visit in December. We had our Christmas tree up and when they walked in, Jolene said, “Oh, I didn’t know you celebrated Christmas!”

February 28, 2004.
Seth 3 weeks.

February 20, 2004.
Amena holding her newest baby brother.

February 24, 2004.
Seth four weeks.

March 1, 2004.
Daniel holding Seth.

March 3, 2004.
Seth five weeks.

This was sometime in the spring.
The whole gang (well, almost): Daniel, Joanna, Cedric, Seth, Laura and Amena.

Seth late March, 2004.

Summer 2004.
Cedric and Seth.
This is the one I mentioned above.

Amena's Birthday, Revisited

I was so not excited to be pregnant again. In many ways, I had hoped that Daniel might be the last one. I generally didn’t mind being pregnant but things were not good at home and there were no midwives near us. We moved from Bloomfield to Escrito near the beginning of the pregnancy which I hoped would be a good move. We did find and visit a midwife in Albuquerque but she wasn’t comfortable with our distance from her AND she was from Vermont or New Hampshire or Maine and would be gone for a week or two visiting family right when we were due. It didn’t help that I didn’t really try to find anyone until well after five months into the pregnancy; having had four babies already, I foolishly believed that I knew enough to know if something felt wrong. Nothing did go wrong during the pregnancy but had I it to live over, I would have done things differently.

On October 25, 1999, I wrote: “Now we are about 8 ½ weeks from baby’s due date. I feel very fat. I’d like for this baby to be here so that I can get back to normal but I’m really not sure about the added stress of having a new baby to care for. Life has been so stressful lately I wonder if it will ever regain any semblance of normalcy.”

December 5, 1999, seventeen days before she was due: “I found a midwife in Farmington. She just moved from Alaska a couple months ago. At first I thought she was really strange but the longer I was there, the more she sounded okay. . . She favors water births and has a Jacuzzi. Getting to use a Jacuzzi might be worth going to town to have this baby.”

On Christmas morning at 2:31, I wrote: “About 12:15 this morning my water broke and contractions started about half an hour later. They’re the real thing but very inconsistent and currently far apart. I think if I were to get up and move around things might kick in. I don’t want to yet though because for some reason I want to have the baby in town and we can’t get to town until we can get gas. That won’t happen until the 44 Store opens—if it does, being Christmas.

“I probably am about ready to get up and get something done. If we do go to town, I need to finish getting things ready to go. Since I finally have everything washed, I was going to do that this afternoon. That’s what I get for putting it off.”

Two days later: “On Christmas morning, after the initial few contractions, nothing happened other than a few Braxton Hicks during the morning. Sherri called and we decided to go into town around 1.”

Once at Sherri’s, “I took some castor oil with orange juice and baking soda to get contractions going again and was sent to bed to get some rest.

“Over the next couple of hours, contractions started, diarrhea started, snow started, and Sherri came and gave me some herbs to help contractions mean business. Between 5 and 9:30, I got up and walked around when I felt like it and sat on the futon trying to visualize my way through contractions (just a note—visualization makes an incredible difference).

“Around 10, I think, Sherri had me go to the bed for an examination which revealed that I was at 9 cm and just about ready to push. With the next contraction—which was the worst because I was closer to laying on my back than I had been—I decided I wanted more pillows but not to move.”

“Amena Bronwen was born at 11:08 pm on Christmas Day weighing 6 pounds, 13 ounces and measuring 20 inches long. As usual, having a baby is such an indescribable thing. It’s hard work—sometimes I just wanted to stop and give up—but so worth it once the baby is born.”

I did not write much in my journal about being pregnant. Had I to do this all over again, I would have been actively looking for someone to see for prenatal care. Even a doctor until I could find a midwife maybe. Had I been looking, I might have found Sherri sooner than I did. She attended births even before she had her office or even a house for her family to live in so that wouldn’t have been a huge problem. In the few weeks that we knew her, I learned more about birth I think than I had with all four previous pregnancies.

During our first meeting, she asked me what I would like to do. I answered that I would like to continue care with her as if we’d been going to her the whole time. That is pretty much how it happened and it was good. I really liked Sherri and I think that if it weren’t for the influence of certain others, we might still be friends today.

Amena’s name came from one of the books of baby names that Sherri had. The deal with naming babies was that Dan would name the boys and I would name the girls. I did indeed choose Laura’s first name, but not her second. I did indeed choose Joanna’s first name, but not her second. This time, I was going to choose both names and they were going to be names I liked. Amena is a Celtic name meaning ‘heather on the hills’ and Bronwen (which I wish I’d have spelled Bronwyn) is Welsh for ‘fair and white’. Very fitting.

This was taken sometime in January.

January 1, 2000.
Amena was one week old and still had her 'bonnet.'
This picture was taken by Rhonda, one of the nurses in GPU.

Isn't she cute? This was taken sometime in the fall of 2000.

Cedric's Birthday, revisited

Life was very stressful between the time Amena was born and the time Cedric was born. After a fairly brief journal entry on March 17, 2001, in which I mention a visit from Daniel Vaniman, I did not write again until August 2 and then only three lines; after that not for another month on September 2. That was a bad month. Then we experienced 9/11. Life across the country mirrored my personal life: STRESS.

Thus, it isn’t until September 12, that I mention anything about a new baby on the way. “The baby seems to be doing fine.”

Marie was going to get married. Finally they set a date and were married Wednesday, October 3. I’d wanted to go but things didn’t work out. We were planning on moving to Idaho though, and since we’d only be about twelve to fourteen hours from Portland, I thought surely we’d be able to visit, “Certainly before this baby comes.”

Sydney left New Mexico to live with her aunt and we dropped Alisha off at the airport in Albuquerque on our way to California for Richard’s funeral as he passed away on November 2. Life was crazy.

On Sunday, December 30, 2001, I wrote: “Last Saturday we had a very interesting experience. I started having contractions about 5am but had no breaking of the water so didn’t worry about it. At 6, I took my usual morning dose of Uterine Toner and contractions kept happening but nothing else. It seemed to me around 9 they began to slow down so close to 10 I took my usual second dose of Uterine Toner.

“Family and McKelvey’s are here so I’ll be back later.”

Finishing the story on January 6, 2002, I wrote: “. . .back to the 22^nd of December. After that second dose of Uterine Toner, contractions were regular and hard. I called Sherri and Sandy who agreed to watch Laura, Joanna, Daniel and Amena. I kept doing things—making beds, getting a suitcase ready, fixing lunch, etc.—until I knew we needed to go NOW. I had a feeling we’d probably waited too long and thought briefly about calling Sherri back to say I wasn’t going anywhere but I really wanted that water birth.

“[We] called Sandy to tell her we might take some of the others but then contractions were really strong ad I said, ‘we’ve got to go NOW. Can she come pick them up?’ She said okay, we went out and Brother McDaniel and his wife arrived with some hay for Freckles.

“We left and I [said] to drive fast but not on the dirt road. [We went] faster on that than I’d’ve liked but plenty fast on the highway.

“Contractions were really hard and very serious. [We] pulled over once to see if I wanted to get in the back which I didn’t so [we] continued. Then I made a loud noise, groan, and [said] if I did it again to pull over. I could feel something bulging between my legs—it was the water bag. [We] pulled over [and I got] in the middle seat and then drove on.

“I’d felt the burning sensation that is associated with the head crowning just before moving back and knew that we’d never make it to town. When we stopped next we were about 8 miles beyond DZ (north) and that’s where we were going to have a baby. I felt something come out. I asked. . . ‘what was that?’ [It was the head.] Next push and out came baby. [I managed to get him under my jumper] and we covered him with two blankets after checking to be sure he was indeed a ‘him.’

“. . .Sherri was waiting for us when we got to her office and got us looked at and in bed.

“Baby’s name is Cedric Jacob.

“Cedric and I are both doing well. He is currently asleep on the couch. He was 7# 4 oz when born (same weight as Laura) and 19 3/4” long. He has dark brown hair and is, of course, terribly cute.

What an experience that was! I need to rest just thinking about it.

Life was incredibly difficult during the time I was pregnant with Cedric. Dan had decided the previous February that he didn’t want to be married to me any longer. He gave me permission to take some of the children, I don’t remember which ones, and leave. He would keep the others. Well, this didn’t set well with me. I’d have been perfectly happy to go but for one thing, if I was, I was going to have all the children with me and I really thought that our marriage was salvageable. Somehow we got through that.

In August, when I was five months pregnant, “Dan took Joanna, Daniel and Amena to pick Laura up from the George’s. To make a long story short, he’d decided he’d had enough and was planning on not coming back. He didn’t until late the next day and that was the worst hell I have ever lived through—much worse than what happened in February.”

It was also around this time that Alicia Chapman told me that someone had told her that I was planning on doing something that could potential hurt her family. She’d heard it from a ‘reliable’ source but refused to tell me who it was. Well, for one thing, I hadn’t said exactly what she had heard I did. For another thing, the only person I had mentioned anything remotely like what she’d heard was to Dan. Who was her source? Dan. I was so angry. I’d heard that extreme emotions have an effect on an unborn child and now I knew it to be true. My baby was affected by my anger and did not move for a full 24 hours.

On a happier note, I had used visualizing during Amena’s birth. I used it during Cedric’s as well, but it didn’t work. I’d been visualizing getting to Sherri’s office and giving birth in the water. Obviously, that didn’t work out. Interestingly, and this is something I just only realized, had we stayed home, the chances of having a water birth would have been greater as we had a garden tub in the master bath. It certainly would have been large enough for laboring in, perhaps giving birth as well.

Cedric was a happy baby and when he was just a few months old, we finally were able to leave New Mexico and move to Idaho.

This picture was taken in late March of 2003 at about the place where Cedric was born. He was born in this van.

This was taken in January of 2002.
For some reason (probably because it was taken before we moved and developed after) it never got dated more specifically.

This was taken in early March of 2002 while we were still in Escrito.

This was taken in March or April of 2002 at Grandma Davis' house in Fort Jones.

 This was taken in the spring of 2002 after our arrival in Idaho.



This is in the summer of 2002 with Blackie.

He loved to snuggle up with Cedric.

Also taken in the summer of 2002.

And this is us in the spring of 2002 at Mt. Hall.

Laura's Birthday, revisited

I began writing about Laura’s birth earlier in this blog but never finished. I believe the time has come to do so.

Friday, July 19, 1991: “Tuesday afternoon I had an appointment with Liz. The baby kicked when she was trying to get his heartbeat. He’s growing nicely. I couldn’t go to the bathroom so she gave me a test strip to test my own.”

On Wednesday, August 14, 1991, “…baby’s growing nicely. He’s very active—especially when I’m trying to sleep.”

Wednesday, August 21, 1991, I was catching up (which I seemed to do pretty often) and said about the previous Sunday: “[Alisha] was kind of restless during the talks so, since the baby was active, I told Alisha that he was kicking. She put her ear against my stomach and was excited when she felt him moving.”

On Friday, September 27,1991, “There are only twenty-four days left before the baby’s due. I;m to the point right now where I’ll be very glad when it’s out. Laying down isn’t comfortable for more than a couple hours, standing up for too long is tiring, and sitting gets uncomfortable very soon. Plus, I have to go to the bathroom a lot. I went twice this afternoon after my nap within an hour. So, I’m looking forward to its being born.”

Sunday, October 20, 1991, “As you may have gathered, the baby has not yet made an appearance. I’m getting a little anxious for it to happen. Everyone tells me all these ways to start things happening but in spite of my anxiousness, I think it will happen when it’s time and ready.”

Friday, October 25, 1991: “Still no baby. I wonder if we will have a November baby after all.”

Friday, November 1, 1991: “Well, baby showed up  Monday…

“Monday morning I work up around five and realized that I was having contractions. I debated on whether or not to tell Dan because they were pretty far apart and not very strong. I finally told him sometime around 6:30 or 7:00 that I thought we were going to have a baby. I called my mom at 7:00 and Dan called Paul around 8:00. Liz came at 11:00 to check me out and I was still only 3 cm. She stopped by again on her way to work at 3:00 and I was up to 5 cm. She went to work with instructions to call Jeannie first if things really got going…my mom and I had gone for a walk in the morning [to try and break my water] but it didn’t work.

“Finally around 5:30 I think, Dan called Jeannie and Liz…Jeannie got here and started setting everything up. Then Li got here and checked me out. I think by then I was up to 8 cm. My contractions weren’t any longer or closer together but they were certainly harder by then. They’d past uncomfortable and had almost reached painful. Dan would squat with me and that really brought the contractions on strong. I don’t remember when it was that I finally asked Liz to try and break my water but she had a hard time because the baby’s head was so far down. After the second try it broke on its own. Dan sat behind me for me to lean on or whatever and everything started happening.

“I remember pushing and thinking I wasn’t and pushing more and Dan kept repeating—maybe—what Liz was saying. Finally the head came out and then the body followed and we have a beautiful baby girl.

“I love Laura Renee and I’m so thankful to Heavenly Father for [her].”

There isn’t a lot to add to this. Liz had left some litmus paper for me to check for amniotic fluid. I did have a leak before the water broke but nothing major; I just kind of had a slow dribble that was annoying and turned the paper the right color but that’s it.

Dan wanted everything to be natural. He thought that because Native Americans used to squat to have their babies, that would be the way to do it. Well, I think under the right circumstances, that would be true. The right circumstances would include a lifestyle that includes a lot of squatting in everyday life. That would help the right muscles get in shape. I do not, and did not, have that kind of a lifestyle. I do a lot of standing and walking. I used to do a fair amount of squatting in the garden but that was only a garden-time activity, not year-round. So, I tried squatting. It hurt. I am not afraid of pain but neither am I a fan of it so I stopped. Looking back on it, squatting would have helped Laura get here faster, but that isn’t necessarily a good thing. Sometimes fast can cause more tearing. I do not remember if I had any tears with Laura or not.

Laura’s birth was a good thing. Alisha’s wasn’t bad, in fact, all things considered, I’d have to say it was pretty good; especially for a hospital birth. Laura’s was good in that it taught me that I could indeed do what my body was intended to do. Quite frankly, before she was born, I had some never voiced concerns. I knew that I could give birth, after all, I’d done it before. But I knew that it wasn’t going to feel good, after all, it hadn’t the first time. I did know that the most intense part would be fairly short compared to the whole process and that the end result would be a baby and that is how I got myself through it.

Really, the only thing I would like to change about Laura’s birth is to educate myself more about birth. With Alisha, I was young and dumb and figured that women had been having babies for eons; why, then, should I bother with child birth classes or reading anything or asking questions. I’d read enough to know the general process; that, in my rebellious mind, was quite sufficient. With Laura, I am not sure why Liz did not encourage me to read. Maybe she figured that if I wanted to read, I would ask; she did have quite a few books. Maybe she thought that since I’d had a baby, I had experience and didn’t feel I needed more information. Whatever the reason, more knowledge would have been nice. As it is, it was what it was and Laura was born and I had a new baby and life was good.

Laura at 6 weeks.
December 10, 1991

And at three months.
January 29, 1992

At 14 weeks.
February 4, 1992

And being Miss Happy Drooler in early August of 1992 because she knew that one day she would LOVE reading just like Mom does (check out the book, man!).

Joanna's Birthday, Revisited

It is hard to believe that Joanna is 19-years-old today. Also hard to believe that my third baby is 19-years-old. How the time does fly by!

It was incredibly hot the summer Joanna was born.  Many journal entries attest to this fact so I won’t bore you with them.  I was seeing/being seen by Andrea Dixon who was awesome.  The only problem is that we were in California and in California, midwives must have physician back-up. (What this meant in the case of Liz providing care I do not know. She was an RN who worked at the hospital in Yreka and everyone knew she did homebirths ‘on the side.’

Thursday, August 25, 1994, “Andrea called this afternoon with the wonderful news that her medical back-up decided that she can no longer back Andrea up. This means that legally Andrea cannot even take anyone’s blood pressure. Or be at a birth. This comes as we are 23 days away from our due date.”

“…Then I got mad—angry—that because a doctor ‘chooses’ not to cover Andrea, I cannot ‘choose’ to have my baby at home with any kind of competent practicing medical help. And yet, depending on what state I live in, I could ‘choose’ to have an abortion.”

Sunday, September 18, 1994, “Earlier that day (the 8^th) I’d called one of Andrea’s assistants who would be able to bring equipment and assist with the birth. Less than an hour later (but before Grandma and Papa came) Andrea called and said, ‘Want to make an appointment?’ She finally found a doctor who would back her up—how exciting! So we made an appointment for that Saturday.

“Saturday the 10^th. . . Our appointment with Andrea was at 4:30 but she’d gotten stuck in . . . traffic and was about half an hour late. The baby was fine and Alisha and Sydney got to feel it and all three got to hear the heartbeat.”

Saturday, September 24, 1994: “Then, around 7:30 (Wednesday), contractions started. Sometime around 9 there was some bloody show so I knew there was a baby on the way.”

“I had a feeling that the birth was not all that eminent—that it would probably be the next day before the baby came. I called Andrea and Carolyn and Brenda. Brenda wasn’t home. Andrea wanted me to call back when contractions were 5 minutes apart or between 1 and 1:30.

“I spent most of the morning getting things ready—making the bed, covering pillows, etc.

“After Becky got here and I called Andrea we walked up to Sew Unique and the health food store. About 2 contractions were coming every eight minutes but they were really not much to be concerned about—not very hard.”

After fun and games including supper and a ride on bumpy roads, “I’d decided to try and get some sleep—rest anyway—and was on the bed when I felt a gush. That was at 9:40. Contractions finally sped up a little at that point. . . I got up for a while and the contractions eased up so I went back to the bed.

“When I was there I felt another gush and decided it was time to call Andrea and Carolyn. . . Carolyn got here soon and Andrea was here by around 11. At that point I was 8 cm and 90% effaced so the baby was coming but not any real hurry.

“Contractions started in hard then [5am]—baby was finally tired of waiting.

“. . .everyone got up . . . and we got to work. [At] nearly six . . . it really happened. Started to happen. And then, half an hour later, a little black baby head popped out followed by a little girl baby body.

“It seems like that part took forever but now I know it didn’t. Most of the time I was on my hands and knees. I tried squatting but it still felt too fast so I went back to hands and knees. Then I tried sitting on the edge of the bed but that’s been baby was nearly here. I tried to turn back over but Andrea stopped me because the baby was only a push or two away.

“Joanna Mabel was born at 6:29 am, September 22, 1994. She was seven pounds and 19 ½ inches.

“Andrea laid her on my stomach and covered her up. All I really remember after that is Laura being pretty happy and delivering the placenta. Actually, I remember lots but it’s rather jumbled together.

“Somehow, the relief at having the baby out never measures up to the joy of the reality that this baby is actually here and what a miracle that is. At one point I felt her head before she was out and that was nice but still, nothing compared to seeing that head with black hair all over it and the little perfect body that followed. Somehow, seeing and feeling makes it real.

“They are so wonderful—so close to Heavenly Father, so special.”

I was positively verbose there; I had to edit out a lot. While I was pregnant with Joanna, I had asthma really bad. I am not going to say that I wasn’t allowed to go to a doctor, but it wasn’t encouraged and had I gone, it most likely would have had an adverse effect on a marriage that I now realize was already on the rocks. My mother-in-law gave me an extra inhaler which I used only when absolutely necessary. After receiving an acupressure treatment, I not only was alleviated of all asthma symptoms but allergy as well for the rest of the pregnancy and for quite some time after. During the birth, Andrea used warm olive oil/washcloth compresses on my perineum. That felt sooooo good.

There were a lot of people present for Joanna’s birth. I’d prepared Laura by utilizing Andrea’s library and reading books to her. I’m not sure I was prepared for so many people although, in all honesty, it wasn’t that bad because I was in the bedroom most of the time and there wasn’t really room for many of them to be in there at once. As it was, there was a husband, midwife and her assistant. Also in the house were Brenda, my sister-in-law, Becky, my sister, Sydney, my step-daughter, and Laura. My mom and grandma were still at Knitter’s Retreat. They got home either later that day or the next. Looking back at it now, I sometimes think I would want to limit the number of people but really, the way it turned out it was pretty okay.

September 26, 1994. Four days old.

September 27, 1994. Five days old.

Sometime in October of 1994. Laura loves her little sister.

Ocober 28, 1994 (actually Laura's birthday). Mama Vampire feeding her baby.

I believe this was taken in April or early May, 1995. They were soooo cute.

July 1, 1995. Sydney, Joanna, Alisha and Laura.

July 1, 1995. Such a happy, smiling little bundle of cuteness!