Saturday we got a late start because Laura had never really had to pack for herself and did not realize how long it would take. We were finally on our way around 11:00 am. We stopped to eat supper around 6 pm and Laura discovered that her AC compressor had stopped working. This meant a new belt was necessary. The first belt was too short but it was too late to exchange it so we slept in the Durango and waited for morning.
The plan had been to go to church but it took two more tries before getting the right belt and it was nearly 11:00 before we were ready to go. That night we stopped at a hotel and I think were all able to sleep well.
We had a travelling companion. I will write more about her later. Due to a combination of reasons, we didn’t leave until slightly after 1:00 pm. I was tired of these puny half-days of travel and determined to make Sioux Falls before stopping; I made a hotel reservation. It took forever to get through Chicago due to traffic and generally just took longer than I thought it would.
After travelling through Wisconsin and most of Minnesota, reality diverged even farther from plans. We were less than 24 miles from Sioux Falls. It had been raining and I was tired. Apparently I fell asleep for a split second and veered of the road. I remember driving through what I thought was grass and thinking that if I turned a bit left maybe be would regain the road. Well, the next thing I remember is Laura saying something, Cedric crying and Daniel comforting him. I tried to get to Cedric but couldn’t and was grateful that Daniel could.
Then there were people there. I heard someone say something about helicopters and I thought, “Oh, my gosh, that’s bad.” Someone else said abdominal injuries and I thought, “Oh, my gosh, THAT’s bad. What have I done?”
Finally I was out and in an ambulance.
I am with Cedric tonight. He’s had two spells of moving. The second time at least, he coughed up some of the gunk from his lungs. Currently he is resting.
Rest is what I’m going to do now, or at least attempt.
It is now 5:39 [am]. I was able to get some sleep since last I wrote. I dreamed but remember only sobbing. I can see the top of Cedric’s head from where I lay. He has a “bolt” in his skull to measure the ICP which is inner-cranial pressure. It looks something like an antenna. He had some x-rays not too long ago. I can only wonder how Amena and Seth are. How inadequate and small I feel.
Once at the hospital, I had to have my clothes cut off of me. I was in a collar for a time due to possible spinal injuries. After an MRI (I think) it was removed because there was no issue with my neck. An MRI of my back showed that I do have a compression fracture in my lower back. [Actually, I have three, in L1, L3 and L4.] So that helped to explain why it hurt so badly.
While still in the ER, I was given the news. Laura had a fractured humerus; Seth had broken clavicles and mandible as well as a lacerated spleen. Laura also had scrapes and bruises. Joseph had minor scrapes. Cedric had a major skull fracture. Amena had cracked ribs high up and bruised lungs. Also pretty severe skull fractures mainly to the front and right side. Daniel was dead. He died instantly. [Laura actually had a fractured left clavicle; Seth a fractured right humerus, cracked ribs, fractured mandible and lacerated spleen. Joseph, Cedric and Amena were injured as mentioned.]
It is now 7:47 [am]. I hope Cedric’s doctor comes soon. Mainly for reassurance because he seems to be doing well. Although still on the ventilator, he is initiating all his breaths and has been all night. His blood pressure was a little low but he got something for that and it is now up. That is important because he needs to have enough oxygen for his brain. His ICP has been good all night. That is good because it needs to remain so in order to get the “bolt” out.
Laura and Joseph have been released, as have I. Laura was on the day we arrived. Joseph the next. Laura stayed with Seth and Amena at Avera but came to see us at Sanford.
It is now 7:18 am, August 8. Monday. I am again with Cedric after having spent Saturday night and a good deal of yesterday with Amena and Seth.
Much progress has been made. Yesterday Cedric’s bolt and bonnet came off. His head is fully visible and his scar is going to be incredible. His nurse said that both are often in for a month or more so it’s amazing his are out so soon. He also got his breathing tube out yesterday. Currently his only issues appear to be a fever the nurse said may be due to withdrawal of meds and the congestion in his lungs which we do not want to turn into pneumonia.
I fell asleep with pen in hand. Now it is 11:36 and Cedric is having a breathing treatment. His lungs have cleared up enough that he only needs them every four hours now which is much better than every two. They are somewhat stressful even while I know they are useful.
If I try to give a day-by-day progression of events, I am going to forget half of what I want to say and will undoubtedly mix things. So, I am not even going to attempt such a thing.
Did I mention that Laura was treated and released? Joseph was released the second day. I was released Saturday.
Today is August 10, Wednesday. It is 11:40 [am]. Cedric just had an ultrasound done of his legs. I have to say that that was a bit of a surprise. Earlier he went down to be x-rayed while he ate some things so they would know what he could and shouldn’t eat. He passed with flying colors and has lunch on its way.
At 10:00 Dan arranged a meeting. Now that it is 5:30 I can tell you that since he got here he’s been doing his darndest to be nice to me—all so he could play his trump card today and request that he be allowed to spend the night with Cedric. It wasn’t a complete surprise, he’d mentioned exercising his rights and staying a night with Cedric. [One still must wonder why Cedric and not any of the others.] Needless to say, I wasn’t in favor of this and told the two social workers there. Basically, I was told that legally they couldn’t prevent him from staying. Legally, he has no real right to stay either because this is not a prescribed or agreed upon visitation. I don’t care what the circumstances.
And now that it is 8:27 pm, Seth was released. I need to remember to email Angela. My mom, Seth and Joseph will be going home Wednesday. I think it is possible that Amena and Cedric might be released sometime around then but it appears that they will both need to drive home rather than fly so Paul will likely be driving out sometime next week. The only remaining question will be if I drive with them or fly alone.
Daniel should be on his way home by now I think. I called the funeral parlour today and they were supposed to call back but I never heard anything. Maybe tomorrow.
Amena has some gaps in her memory. That’s okay because I feel confident that all will be well. She did not believe me when I told her about Daniel. I had already told Joseph early on and I told Seth earlier yesterday. They were in Amana’s room talking about Daniel being, in Joseph’s words, “dead, duh.” Amena said it wasn’t true because I would have told her already and the boys were joking about it.
Joseph didn’t react much at all when I told him other than accept it as a fact. According to what I read, that’s pretty age appropriate as is the fact that I had to remind him the following day.
Seth didn’t react much. He seemed a little sad and had a tear but other than that, not much. [He indicated that he already knew.]
Cedric asked about Daniel when I got here yesterday. I sent everyone out and pretty much said what I had to Seth explaining that we’d been in an accident and what had happened to each of us. I said that Daniel’s body was hurt so badly that it wouldn’t work anymore and so his body died but his spirit is still alive and with us.
August 11, 2011, 8:58 am.
Cedric and I cried together a lot that night before he fell asleep. Jay got a picture of Daniel and Laura taped it to Cedric’s bed. In the morning we had another couple of good cries. During the day he asked me about Seth, Joseph and Amena. I think he needed reassurance that they are still here. Since Seth was released yesterday evening, we brought him over to see Cedric. Cedric seemed relieved.
Amena and Cedric are both doing well. Right now they’re working on getting everything situated for release to Massachusetts. Paul emailed me a name and number for a rehab doctor in MA who worked with him years ago. I just need to get that to the right people here.
Currently, I’m a bit sleepy so. . .
I just spoke to Grandma. (It’s 11:15.) Papa went into hospice care yesterday. He is expected to live maybe a week—probably three or four days. While part of me says we should have been there, part of me knows that, for whatever the reason, we weren’t.
Everything I have told people about Daniel is true but I sure am going to miss him. He was [is] such a good son. A good big brother. A good little brother.
It wasn’t exactly fun, when I took him to the Emergency Room for asthma, but it is the first time I’d had to do something like that with him. I remember checking on him in the morning. He was having trouble breathing but was still willing to do what I asked. [Which included going with me to meet the Dusty’s and pick up a chicken coop.] Not long before lunch I was on the phone with Jonathan sitting at the table sewing. Daniel came down and was having a very hard time breathing. I got off the phone and took Daniel to the doctor and then the ER. We weren’t there long and he responded well to the treatments. We actually got to leave by about 3. While we were there, Daniel was playing around with the oxygen sensor. That really does some interesting things to pulse and oxygen readings.
That would have been the Tuesday before scout camp I believe. The missionaries were coming, as usual, for supper. I’d felt I needed to get it done early so when we got back, I didn’t have much to do. I’d called Laura when we first arrived at the hospital. She walked to the house from work to be with the kids.
When the elders got there for supper, Daniel concocted a tale. I don’t think I can do the story justice but it had to do with why Daniel was at the hospital and ended up involving a huge chicken named Asthma. I should get Elders Barnhurst and Horton to write down what they remember.
9:06 am August 13. Everyone is awake and up. Mom says Amena is showered, dressed and waiting for therapy. We are in various stages of being dressed and having eaten. Alisha and Imani are in the shower. When they are done, I will braid her hair and then take my shower.
Paul is concerned that because he hasn’t been able to sleep well, he won’t be able to drive us home. I think it may be that a change of scenery would do him good and he might be able to sleep and be fine.
Papa died today, August 14, 2011, at about 6:50 pm in Hornbrook, CA. Grandma, Debby and David were there. I wish I could have been but know he understands why I was not. Now my practically perfect Papa and practically perfect Daniel are together and not alone.
Other than that, Amena had visitors from Sioux Falls 2nd Ward Young Women today. They came and painted her nails. After that the husbands of two of the leaders and a son of one came to do the sacrament for us since we missed it today.
Amena continues making great strides. She is talking more and becoming more animated. Mom is with her tonight. Before Alisha and I left to come to Bassets, Marie called. She and Benny are expecting a baby on Feb 11. I hadn’t spoken to Marie for two years but she asked to talk to me (she called Mom). It was good to talk to her and definitely a small step in the right direction.
Once we got to Bassets, Cedric had a bit of a meltdown. He wants to do more than he should and I won’t let him. Also, I don’t think he’s been getting his meds regularly as he ought. It took me, Alisha and Laura to restrain him. I gave him a missed dose of Ativan and Jay gave him a blessing. He is now watching a movie in spite of the fact that it is so late as a sort of reward for settling down.
I just got off the phone with Paul and gave Cedric his 11:00 methadone. He needs his Ativan at midnight.
I love Paul. He is a wonderful man. He loves the kids like they were his. What more can I say than that?
Our travel plans have mostly been finalized. My mom is taken Joseph and Seth home Tuesday. They are flying, leaving pretty early in the morning. I am flying home Wednesday at 12:58 pm, arriving in Boston at 7:39 pm. I don’t remember exact times for my mom and the boys arrival but it’s between 2 & 3 in the afternoon. Brother and Sister Mayer, Adam and Chad are driving the van out and will be taking Amena, Cedric and Laura home. Sister Mayer says they’ll be driving straight to get here. On the way home, she said she’ll be in charge. She is a nurse and will be keeping an eye on the kids. When they need a break, they will take a break. I like that.
Bishop Snider gave me a Suburban. Since Laura is the person who lost a vehicle, I think she should have it. I was thinking that maybe we could leave it here and Laura and Alisha could fly out and drive it the rest of the way. Paul suggested having the guys who are driving the kids home drive it so that Laura could work on it and then she and Alisha could drive it back after the funeral. I’ll see what they think about that.
I am looking forward to being home. Alisha and Imani are flying home Wednesday evening. Becky and Jay will probably head home Thursday morning so that Alisha won’t be left alone here at all. I am absolutely amazed that we will all be home or en route less than three weeks after the accident.
August 15, 2011. 11:38 pm. Daniel was called home to be a soldier in the battle. He is among the legions protecting his family as well as those facing the adversary. There are legions watching over his mortal remains. He will be raised in the first resurrection.
